My Rant and Rave — My Life as a Filmmaker

Join the Conspiracy of Hope - Perk for $50 Donation: Photo of Jimmy Mirikitani (Cats of Mirikitani) By Corky Lee

2011-12-24T23:26:00.003-05:00

Dear friends, colleagues, and professionals,

Once people have died, it's too late. But that is precisely the time when Asian American leaders take action about the mental health issues in our communities. The few times Asian American organizations held workshops and panels about mental health was after the Virginia Tech massacre. Another was when we lost the beautiful and extraordinarily talented Chinese-American historian/writer Iris Chang to suicide. Always too late. Without the pretext of tragedy, it’s not socially acceptable for Asian Americans to talk about mental illness even as Asian American women between the ages of 15-24 continue to kill themselves at the highest rate out of any of the ethnic groups. There is complicity in silence. Can you be complicit? Can you be silent amid this pattern of facts? What is our moral imperative? You heard it first in the AIDS campaigns: Silence equals death.

How do you create safety in cultures where it’s considered taboo to discuss mental illness? Media creates the buzz. The facts instigate the dialogue. "Can" the documentary film (amongourkin.org) depicts a protagonist who is not afraid to speak publicly about his mental illness, surely affecting culture. The film, without being released, is already inspiring ideas, conversation, and creative energy. Influenced by my Facebook posts about my film and the prevalence of depression among Asian American women, the Broadway veteran actor and playwright extraordinaire Christine Toy Johnson, (ChristineToyJohnson.com) started her script for EYE D, a theatre project about identity among women of color. To boot, a group of fantastic women of color, Christine and I gathered last November to talk about our identities and ourselves. Coming in late 2012!

The truth is that the silence about mental illness has tragic and devastating consequences for you, me and our communities throughout the country. Korean Americans, in particular, are known for hiding their shame in order to save face. Death, even murder, seems preferable to losing face.
http://articles.latimes.com/2006/apr/10/local/me-bodies10
http://articles.latimes.com/2006/apr/11/local/me-murder11
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-05-17-koreatown_x.htm
http://www.laweekly.com/2006-04-13/news/community-in-pain/

Mental Health Taboos Fuel Korean American Suicides
http://iamkoream.com/mental-health-taboos-fuel-korean-american-suicides/#more-25808

Watch Nolan Zane, Director of the National Asian American Center for Disparities Research, Univ. of California, Davis, speak about the stigma in Asian American cultures.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/cryforhelp/episodes/special-feature/nolan-zane-on-the-stigma-of-mental-illness/14/

We know that the mental health utilization rates by Asian Americans are less than the general population.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/09/24/asian-americans-shun-mental-health-care-2/2998.html

Systemic barriers are also an issue: therapists who do not understand the cultural milieus of their patients are hard pressed to understand and treat them appropriately. It's one of the many reasons why Asian Americans do not seek or stay in therapy. This is why we’re using this documentary to create cultural competency training for health care providers.

As an activist, I want to become obsolete. I want there to be no need for me to go to national health conferences to speak about issues in Asian American mental health. And no need for a film about recovery from mental illness because everyone will know someone who has recovered and is proud to tell the world about it. Every year, 1 out of every 5 people will struggle with a mental illness. I want every person who has ever felt the stigma of mental illness to be able to heal from their shame and pain. I want everyone who needs help to receive the support, attention and care they deserve without shame. It is our collective responsibility. It takes a village. It takes a culture and a revolution, beginning with you.

We currently have two perks, donated by the undisputed unofficial Asian American Photographer Laureate Corky Lee for donations of $50 and up. For every $50 gift made, we're giving away one 10" x 8" color photo of Jimmy Mirikitani (http://thecatsofmirikitani.com/) or the Lantern Procession for Buddha's Birthday in Union Square. Your choice. Be sure to claim a perk on our Indiegogo.com page: http://www.indiegogo.com/Can-a-documentary-film-by-Pearl-J-Park?a=350471

As a side note, producer/director Linda Hattendorf of 2006 Tribeca Film Festival Audience Award fame, The Cats of Mirikitani is a consulting editor on "Can." Xuan T. Vu, the principal editor of "Can," worked with Oscar-nominated and Emmy-winning documentary filmmaker, Dorothy Fadiman, as principal editor and associate producer on Fadiman's political documentary film (STEALING AMERICA: Vote by Vote, theatrically released in 2008.

Silence equals death. Don't be complicit. Join the conspiracy of hope by donating today. Together we can make the need for mental health activism obsolete.

To make a tax-deductible donation to this film's nonprofit fiscal sponsor Independent Feature Project, please click the "donate" button in the upper right-hand corner: https://market.ifp.org/newyork/fiscal/DonateNow.cfm?ProjectID=40

To make a donation to our IndieGoGo campaign, please click
http://www.indiegogo.com/Can-a-documentary-film-by-Pearl-J-Park?a=350471&i=wdgi

Sincerely,
Pearl

Curanderismo: Healing Holistically in Latino Communities

2011-06-24T21:20:00.002-04:00

Curanderismo is a Latino holistic — mind, body and soul — approach to health, originating from early colonial period Catholicism and pre-Columbian indigenous medicinal practices in Latin America. Because of the widespread dissemination of Catholicism during the early Spanish conquests of Mexico, the Caribbean, Central and South Americas, most Latinos are familiar with the basic practices and precepts of curanderismo. Within these geographical regions, there is diversity from one nation to another as well as intra-ethnic diversity in the practices and beliefs of curanderismo. Also known as Mexican folk medicine in the Southwestern U.S., it incorporates physical as well as spiritual and soul-related explanatory models of health and illness. There are no discrete lines between physical and mental health, similar in this respect to some traditional Eastern medicinal views. Treatable ailments encompass social, spiritual, emotional, mental and physical problems.
A curandero, "male healer" in Spanish, or a curandera, “female healer” in Spanish, is often a respected and revered elder with spiritual gifts, whose job it is to tend to the health and psycho-spiritual needs of his or her community. Typically full of compassion, affection and good will, this person is an essential member of the local community who develops with life-long bonds with the families s/he serves. S/he is the first person who people turn to in crisis, distress or spiritual discontentment, seeking consolation, understanding and, in some cases, divination. Prescribed treatments can range from herbs, massage, manipulation of body parts, spiritual rituals, exorcisms, and prayer — in combination or singly. A curandero or curandera consults and treats the entire family for an issue affecting one individual in the household as the ailment, curse, or spiritual issue may be viewed as affecting all members of the family.

Medical anthropologist Renaldo Maduro, PhD, describes in his article, “Curanderismo and Latino Views of Disease and Curing,” some of the beliefs typical of the Latino's world view on healing. Disease or illness may follow strong emotional states (such as rage, fear, envy or mourning of painful loss)or being out of balance or harmony with one's environment; Some of the beliefs inherent to curanderismo are that the soul may become separated from the body (loss of soul); cure requires the participation of the entire family; the natural world is not always distinguishable from the supernatural; sickness often serves the social function, through increased attention and rallying of the family around a patient, of reestablishing a sense of belonging (resocialization) and a patient is often the innocent victim of malevolent forces. Additionally, Latinos respond better to an open interaction with their healer.

While many Latino-Americans believe in curanderismo as a healing modality, most also value the power of conventional Western medicine, routinely seeking the care of a medical doctor when sick, according to one Los Angeles study. In one particular area of Los Angeles, most Mexican-Americans sought medical treatment for their mental illness, rather than seeking the care of a curandero. Though curanderismo is and has historically been an inherent part of Latino culture, it would be incorrect to presume that every Latino embraces the beliefs and practices of curanderismo. Some understand it as folk medicine, which means that they see value in it for certain ailments while they feel other issues may require attention from allopathic professionals.
In other academic research, curanderismo is postulated to be the reason why Latino-Americans are underrepresented in California’s mental health system, constituting only 3% of the patient population when they constitute more than 10% of the state’s general population. Dr. Maduro hypothesizes that many Latinos often are consoled and taken care of by their local curandero and their family, protective migitating factors in mental health.
If health care providers are to maintain their effectiveness, their knowledge of their patient’s cultural milieu is critical in the delivery of care. Understanding a patient's explanatory model of illness enables providers to formulate a culturally appropriate response, and also anticipate, identify and resolve any potential treatment compliance issues before problems arise. For example, if a person believes his mental illness is a result of a curse or spirits, he may choose not take his medication. A person’s explanatory model of his illness affects their health-related behaviors and their willingness to comply with treatment plans. By 2050, the largest ethnic minority in the U.S. will be Latino-Americans with 29% of the population, who currently constitute about 14%.

Maduro, Renaldo, PhD, “Curanderismo and Latino Views of Disease and Curing,” West J Med. 1983 December; 139(6): 868–874.

Yale University Screening of Rough Cut 54C and Presentation - April 18, 2011

2011-04-29T21:42:00.027-04:00

The screening went very well, despite a lower than expected turnout. But I felt the smaller size of the audience allowed for intimate, in-depth discussions about cultural competency. The film was met with great fervor and praise by professors: Professor Frank Keil, Professor Kristi Lockhart of psychology and Amy Cheng, Yale School of Medicine, who apparently really, really loved the film. Dr. Keil, the Charles C. and Dorathea S. Dilley Professor of Psychology, and Dr. Lockhart invited me with the final cut of the film for a Master's Tea, which I understood to be some kind of campus event held every week. It is apparently an honor to be invited because I learned before leaving that Master's Tea often features rising luminaries and high-profile people like Hillary Clinton and US Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia. We received 3 film evaluations, which rated the film a 10, much to my surprise. All three of them stayed afterwards to share how much they liked the film was.

Asian American Teenage Girls Have Highest Rates of Depression; NAMI Releases Report

2011-04-25T23:01:00.006-04:00

Unfortunately, I am not surprised that Asian American girls have the highest rate of depressive symptoms because Asian American women 15-24 have the highest rate of suicide among all the ethnic groups.

Arlington, Va. -- Asian American teenage girls have the highest rate of depressive symptoms of any racial, ethnic or gender group according to a report released today by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

The report is based on a "listening session" with mental health experts from different Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) communities held in Los Angeles in November 2010.

Key issues in the report include barriers to mental health services and negative perceptions of mental health problems particular to AAPI communities.

The report highlights statistics from the U.S. Department of Heath and Human Services (HHS) Office of Minority Health (OMH) and National Asian Women's Health Organization (NAWHO) posing concern.

Asian American girls have the highest rates of depressive symptoms of any racial/ethnic or gender group;
Young Asian American women ages 15 to 24 die from suicide at a higher rate than other racial/ethnic groups;
Suicide is the fifth leading cause of death among Asian Americans overall, compared to the ninth leading cause of death for white Americans;
Older Asian American women have the highest suicide rate of all women over 65; and
Among Southeast Asians, 71 percent meet criteria for major affective disorders such as depression—with 81 percent among Cambodians and 85 percent among Hmong.

"Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders represent a rich diversity of languages and cultures," said NAMI Executive Director Michael Fitzpatrick. "They include traditions from China, India, Vietnam, Korea and the Philippines to name only a few. Mental health care must recognize cultural differences as well as common inside our broader national community."

Recommendations include:

A national strategy of outreach and engagement using cultural messages, ambassadors and social media;
A linguistically and culturally responsive mental health workforce, including recruitment of bilingual and bicultural members of the AAPI community; and
Recognition of cultural influences suc

"Culture, Community and Change" Screening and Speech at Asian Pacific American Medical Students Association NY/NJ Regional Conference

2011-03-25T01:07:00.010-04:00

Out of 37 evaluations, we received a median score of 8 (14 evaluations), five 10s, six 9s, one 9.5, three 6s, and three 5s. One of those who scored the film a 5, said that it was a powerful and important film, but that it made her very sad and therefore, didn't enjoy it. More than 10% of the viewers rated their enjoyment of the film a ten, much to my surprise. I wasn't expecting very high scores because the film's structure has yet to be developed.

Rough cut #53 (Fifty-Three!!! Yes, there were 52 rough cuts before this one.) was screened on March 19, 2011 at Mount Sinai School of Medicine for NY/NJ Regional conference of APA Medical Students.

In keeping with the Asian Women's Giving Circle grant, I am using the film to help educate health professionals about cultural competency. Because many medical schools do not have a cultural competency in their curriculum, I slipped some in after my presentation, offering them some insights into Asian American mental health and online training resources such as www.thinkculturalhealth.org. At the end, I also asked them to consider psychiatry as a specialty since there is a national shortage of Asian language bilingual psychiatrists. I honestly don't know if I made progress for Asian American mental health, but I did address the many issues and the root causes of these issues. I was impressed with the depth and detail of the film evaluations they filled out.

I gave a variation of the below speech at this event. I wrote it, but did not present it in this manner because of the lack of time. This is the long version, which I wish I had the time to give.

I am inordinately grateful for the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors for sponsoring this screening and presentation. Thank you, Pat Shea, for believing in this project. Pat is an awesome and intelligent woman who understands the challenges in Asian American mental health and necessity for this film project. She understands the importance of cultural change as a means of health prevention and everything that it entails. Unfortunately, many mental health organizations do not and I am so fortunate to have their financial support for the educational outreach portion of my project.

Culture, Community and Health

Thank you so much for inviting me to your conference. It’s an honor to be here and present my film to you all future doctors.

Where are we headed?

What is progress? It's doing better than previously.By 2050, minorities: Latino Americans, African Americans, and Asian Americans will become the majority, changing the way health care services will be delivered. Therein lies many challenges with this diversification of cultures and languages. Culturally and linguistically appropriate health services will likely become mandatory and very challenging, given the variety of cultures and languages that America will absorb. Can’s little story of recovery and resilience is a small fish in a large pond of millions of fish, but it’s a very important one, one that needs to be told for a myriad of reasons. Culture matters and mediates emotional expression. The culture of patient can help appease or contribute to illness and wellness. The culture of the health care provider can also help or hinder his ability to heal.

Culture Always Matters

Can I ask you how many of you could relate to Can and some of his issues? If most of you are 1.5 or second generation AAs, you can probably relate to Can’s experience of trying to relate to his parents. That intergenerational cultural gap is a source of stress and inner turmoil for many Asian Americans. Do you know the one and only major national study on Asian Americans, the National Latino and Asian American Study in 2006, found that the cultural conflicts with their immigrant parents and perceived discrimination were the two significant life stressors for second generation AAs? Second generation AAs had higher rates of MI than their immigrant parents. Can isn’t the only Asian American who is having difficulty navigating and straddling two very different cultures. We all are and there aren’t many resources for us to tap into. Asian Americans tend to encounter more cultural and linguistic barriers when seeking mental health resources, according the 2001 Surgeon General's Report and the 2003 President New Freedom Commission on Mental Health.

Some of the reasons why I made this film are very personal. I had mental illness in my family; and my family is terribly embarrassed that I’m the only Asian going around publicly disclosing that, but I believe it’s with a greater purpose in mind. Other reasons why I made this film was because of the lack of documentary films, addressing this issue in the Asian American community. In fact, there aren’t many Asian American health organizations that are addressing the mental health crisis in our community. Historically, there weren’t many films in the mainstream media, which depicted realistically the lives of Asian Americans. A part of this project is about dispelling the model minority myth and the inaccurate stereotypes of people with MI.

Media Impacts Culture

Everyone in this room has heard of Jared Loughner, the accused shooter in the Tucson, AZ massacre. Since that fatal day of shooting in December, there have been more than 5,000 news articles about him, scrutinizing every aspect of his life, reporting on minutae of his life. They interviewed his family, friends, neighbors, teachers, and former classmates. Essentially, when a person with a mental illness goes on a murder rampage, there is massive media coverage that exceeds capacity.

Had that same person, Jared Loughner, realized that he had a mental illness, sought treatment and recovered, we’d never have known of him, his family. No one would have cared that he had a mental illness, and as remarkable and extraordinary as his recovery may have been, there probably wouldn’t have been a shred of news about it. The fact is that the mass media nearly exclusively shines a spotlight on those with mental illness, who have committed violence, when in fact, it is a very small percentage of people with mental illness who are violent. There are people with mental illnesses who fought hard to overcome their mental illness and succeeded, but rarely does their story make the headlines. Representations of people with mental illnesses are very skewed in the mass media and those repetitive images of violent people with mental illnesses have an adverse impact on our culture. It basically creates a fear of people with mental illnesses; I know from having people with mental illness in my own family that some are vulnerable to being ridiculed for their different ways because of their mental illness. Often, it is the person with mental illness who needs to be protected from society and its inability to understand mental disabilities.

Based on the deluge of press focusing mass murderers with mental illness, our collective impressions of people with mental illness are violent and deranged when there are millions of harmless people with mental illness who are simply suffering silently. There are numerous health effects and consequences in society because of the stigma of mental illness. For Asian Americans, of which 50% or more are foreign-born, the stigma of mental illness is even harsher and more oppressive. All the while, the news coverage of Asian Americans in the mass media has historically focused on success stories, reinforcing the model minority myth, which has inadvertently led to lack of resource allocation in Asian American mental health.

So in telling Can’s story, I sought to respectfully and realistically express the emotional and factual truths of an human being, trying to recover from mental illness. His being Asian definitely certainly gives his story, a different set of life issues, than someone who grew up in an Euro-American culture. Because stories of heroic efforts to recover are rarely told, despite the importance of telling such stories, I felt a moral imperative to tell Can's story in a way that bears all. Media impacts culture and we must tell the stories of the millions of people like Jared Loughner who have a mental illness, but did not harm or kill anyone. It impacts our collective unconscious, which we call culture. Or we will be complicit in the conspiracy to subjugate those with a mental disability. The denial and shame surrounding mental illness in Asian American communities is very real and has deadly consequences.

Facts About Asian American Mental Health

● Asian Americans who suffer from mental illness are less likely to seek treatment than Euro-Americans, African-Americans, and Latino-Americans, typically seeking psychological care as a last resort when they can no longer conceal their illness. I’ve talked to numerous counselors and psychologists who say that they are seeing

● The 2001 Surgeon General’s report found that Asian Americans had less access to mental health services and, when they did receive treatment, they were more likely to receive lower quality care than other racial groups.

● Nearly 80% of the Southeast Asian refugee population in the US suffer from depressive, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorders because of the devastating experience of war in their countries of origin.1

● Asian American women ages 15 to 24 lead in the highest suicide rate amongst all ethnic groups, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

● 30% of Asian American girls, a higher percentage than any other ethnic group, exhibit symptoms of depression according to the another.

Culture and the Root Causes of Health Disparities

About 30% of the causes of health disparities are rooted in culture, but yet health prevention efforts rarely address cultural change. In fact, most funding is channeled into clinical research, which is only responsible for 10% of the problem. Many of our lifestyle choices: diet, exercise, view of health, whom we seek to find healing, and how we think are often influenced, if not dictated by culture — the beliefs and behaviors around us. And because of culture, Asian Americans with serious and persistent mental illnesses are not receiving the care and treatment they deserve. We are more likely than other ethnic group to confront numerous cultural and linguistic barriers in finding mental health help. Instead of being supported by their neighbors, friends, and family, Asian Americans often deal with their MI in shame and isolation. Why? Culturally, many traditional Asian cultures hid their family members with mental illness. Our cultures desperately need a revolutionary change. In November 2010, a fairly comprehensive article about mental health system in China was published in the New York Times. It illustrated just how deeply the stigma disabled the health system and affected even the development of mental health resources. Only when numerous murders of children by individuals, with untreated mental illness, were they offered help and medical attention.

How many of you in this room know who Iris Chang is? She was a bit before your generation. She was a beloved and popular Chinese American historian, scholar and author. She had a mental illness and committed suicide, in part, because she and her family could not bear to tell their friends and family about her mental illness. This is the cost of living in a culture, one which denigrates a person for having a mental illness.

This film project is help dispel the taboo power around mental illness in Asian American communities and to contribute to the broader public discourse on cultural competency and mental health.

The stigma not only prevents individuals with mental illness from seeking treatment, but also prevents doctors from specializing in psychiatry so there is an actual shortage of Asian bilingual, bi-cultural mental health providers in the U.S. compounding the problems. Though about 25% of medical students are of Asian ancestry, the number of them entering psychiatry is disproportionately low. I would encourage those of you with empathetic and patient personalities to consider a career in psychiatry.

CULTURAL COMPETENCY

The second reason I made this film is because I realized through my experiences with mental health providers, that very few of them understood other cultural realities. Not surprisingly, our mental health system has been a long history of misdiagnosis and mistreatment of minorities, the President’s New Freedom Commission on Mental Health found. There is a growing movement toward culturally competent health care with about 14 states passing legislation mandating some level of education in cultural competency for physicians.

Cultural and linguistic competence is a set of congruent behaviors, attitudes, and policies that come together in a system, agency, or among professionals that enables effective work in cross-cultural situations. 'Culture' refers to integrated patterns of human behavior that include the language, thoughts, communications, actions, customs, beliefs, values, and institutions of racial, ethnic, religious, or social groups. 'Competence' implies having the capacity to function effectively as an individual and an organization within the context of the cultural beliefs, behaviors, and needs presented by consumers and their communities. (Adapted from Cross, 1989).

In practical terms, it means effective cross-cultural therapeutic relationships between provider and consumer or patient. In the medical anthropological approach to developing cultural competency, the health provider needs to understand his/her own culture and beliefs. The first step is awareness of one’s own culture and worldview.

For example, in Can’s family, Mr. and Mrs. Truong have an explanatory model for Can’s mental illness, which may be contrary to precepts of conventional Western medicine. Western medicine explains mental illness in scientific terms, not spiritual terms. Though if you think about it, the idea of karma does not necessarily conflict with the scientific idea of mental illness, which is that there is a biological component to it or that it is a complex interaction of nature and nurture. If a psychologist or social worker was working with Can’s family, it would be very important for them to respect their viewpoints and work within their belief systems. And it may not be easy for them to do that if they are not familiar with the culture. But it’s of critical importance to fostering provider-patient trust.

I’d like to add that just because you are Asian American does not mean that you are culturally competent with Asian Americans. Often times, many of us still harbor certain assumptions about our own ethnic, religious or cultural groups. None of us are blank slates and make assumptions and/or have formed habitual beliefs, which may interfere with being culturally competent. For example, there are some Asian Americans, like Can, who have grown up in predominantly white communities and have internalized self-hatred and may reject their own language, culture and customs. So the fact that you are Asian American and speak an Asian language does not a culturally competent health care provider make.

And why is it important?

Cultural competency is one the main ingredients in closing the disparities gap in health care.

In sum, because health care is a cultural construct, arising from beliefs about the nature of disease and the human body, cultural issues are actually central in the delivery of health services treatment and preventive interventions. Your patients are going to you because they believe they will benefit by seeing a doctor. Why they choose to go to a medical doctor, not a shaman, a Buddhist priest, a minister or a acupuncturist is often influenced by culture.

Why cultural competency is important in fighting health disparities? You have understand the culture as well as the physiology of the patient you are treating. What if the Asian woman you are treating for depression lives in a culture which has induced a great deal of shame around mental illness? You must address the shame as well as the illness, because shame can prevent the person from developing authentic relationships with people who support her emotionally. Culture matters.

Culturally and Linguistically Appropriate Services Standards (CLAS)

Culturally and Linguistically Appropriate Services Standards (CLAS) are the collective set of culturally and linguistically appropriate services (CLAS) mandates, guidelines, and recommendations issued by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health intended to inform, guide, and facilitate required and recommended practices related to culturally and linguistically appropriate health services (National Standards for Culturally and Linguistically Appropriate Services in Health Care Final Report, OMH, 2001).

Free Online Cultural Competency Training Resources

thinkculturalhealth.org – free physician training for which you can receive CEUs, developed by the Office of Minority Health, US Dept of Health and Human Services
CLAS
The Technical Assistance Partnership for Child and Family Mental
Health (TA Partnership) provides technical assistance to system of
care communities that are currently funded to operate the
Comprehensive Community Mental Health Services for Children and Their
Families Program.
http://www.tapartnership.org/COP/CLC/asianHawaiianPacificIslander.php
Management Health Sciences http://erc.msh.org/aapi/index.html

Prescribing Psychotropic Meds for Asians

• http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071749/

As you saw in the film, Can had a lot of trouble with medications, which may, in part, be due to his Asian physiology.
Asian patients may also experience side effects at lower doses than are seen in other ethnic groups.^13,14,15,16
Start with half the usual recommended starting dose because of possible side effects
Similar to their response to antidepressants and benzodiazepines, Asian patients often respond to lower doses of antipsychotic medication.

Call to Action

I was fortunate enough to hear Dr. Cornell West, one of America’s most provocative intellectuals and champions of racial justice of our time, at the American Public Health Association Conference. Being who he is, he asked the question, What kind of a human do you want to be? The question wasn’t what kind of a professional do you want to be? What kind of a filmmaker do you want to be? Or what kind of a nurse do you want to be? The question is what kind of a human being do you want to be? It’s the fundamental, primordial question, one that will determine what kinds of choices we make in our roles as professionals, friends, family members, daughters, and sons.

Many of us grew up in households, where racism towards other ethnic groups was acceptable. Chinese are like this; Japanese people are like this; Blacks think this way; White people always do this. I know my parents, who lived in homogenous Korea, never quite understood why it was wrong to classify people based on race, gender, ethnicity or social class. They grew up with a collective sense of responsibility, which meant that individuals in a group did what their leaders told them to. They did not grow up in an individualistic, mult-ethnic society. In their generation and culture, gender-based expectations and race-based assumptions were the norms. Race, cultural and linguistic competence were non-issues in some of the homogeneous Asian societies where our parents came from. I had to unlearn some of the racist attitudes I learned from my upbringing and environment. Luckily, I am a product of a multi-cultural upbringing and had friends from many backgrounds throughout my life. One of my first childhood best friends in the U.S. was from Jamaica and I remember the first time I went over to her house, I had breadfruit and rice and peas. In the U.S., she would be misidentified as African-American, instead of Jamaican-American, which is how she would identify herself. I remember one day walking home from school with her and she was crying, like slow leak, seeping tears. Some kid at school had called her the N word.

My education, particularly the tragic chapters of American history, taught me that racism, and cultural chauvinism is unequivocally wrong. Cultural chauvinism was an acceptable part of being Korean. It was viewed as inherently being Korean. And as you saw in my film, the consequences of racism are deeply penetrating, deeply psychologically damaging. Can feels the pain of his peers taunting him with words like "chink" nearly 30 years after it has happened.

Though we cannot do much change culture and community as a whole, each of us can take responsibility for our own world view. We are all members of this culture and community. Changing ourselves is changing our community. If each one of us took responsibility for our worldview and how we treat others, the world will change. So firstly, the change has to take place within ourselves. Do you want to be a by-product of your culture or a product of truth and reason? Racism has no place in the mind of a doctor, you cannot heal and harm at the same. I had to unlearn the stigma of mental illness by meeting extraordinary people who also happened to have a mental illness. I thought I was enlightened; I thought I was educated. I was both those things, but I still harbored negative stereotypes of people with mental illnesses.

Life is a processing of unlearning and learning, depending on what kind of a human being you want to be. What kind of a human being you want to be will determine the kind of doctor you will be.

And I challenge you today to unlearn the stigma, inculcated by our culture. It will be especially important for doctors, like yourselves, to unlearn the stigma because you will be in positions of power. We’ve all internalized it through the media and those around us. Consider it a form of discrimination based on disability. We should not engage in it, but because it’s so ubiquitous, the stigma is invisible, like water to a fish.

I challenge some of you to become psychiatrists despite what your parents might tell you. Progress begins with yourself and being the change that you want to see in the world. Embrace change and differences. Thank you.

Closing thank you

IN closing, I’d like to thank the California Endowment, the Mental Health Assoc. of California, National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association, the Asian Women’s Giving Circle and the National Assoc. of State MH Program Directors.

Life in Shadows for Mentally Ill in China: 173 Million People with Mental Illness and Few Accessible Services for Them

2011-02-27T01:24:00.013-05:00

"The Lancet study estimated that roughly 173 million Chinese suffer from a mental disorder. Despite government efforts to expand insurance coverage, a senior Health Ministry official said last June that in recent years, only 45,000 people had been covered for free outpatient treatment and only 7,000 for free inpatient care because they were either dangerous to society or too impoverished to pay."

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/11/world/asia/11psych.html?scp=1&sq=china%20mental%20illness&st=cse

"Life in Shadows for Mentally Ill in China"
By Sharon LaFraniere
New York Times

November 10, 2010

I was disturbed by this NY Times article, describing the mental health system in China, or rather the lack thereof. It validates what I already knew anecdotally in a scientific way. As I had imagined, very few people with serious and persistent mental illnesses receive the care they deserve and need, largely in part with their society's inability to come to terms with the reality of mental illness. Denial and shame seems to shroud the issues and developing strategic public policies to deal with this public health problem. Only when the issue reaches catastrophic proportions, do the authorities take action. Tragically in these cases, 8 school children were senselessly murdered by individuals who endured many years without medical treatment and were delusional at the time of the murders.

As strong as the stigma of mental illness may be in American culture, public mental health services exist in nearly in every community. We are nowhere near China's tragic mess where people are routinely hidden from public view and shamed for simply having a mental illness. It is a reminder of how far America has come, and how much more we have to advance.

It seems that society does not care about people who are suffering with an illness by themselves until that person commits an act of violence. Sadly, late is when they do receive a deluge of attention from the authorities.

The stigma not only prevents individuals with mental illness from seeking treatment, but also prevents doctors from specializing in psychiatry. Doctors who train in psychiatry are treated with disdain and ill-regard for their chosen profession, as strange that may seem to us Americans and even Asian Americans. Americans may think there is a strong stigma of mental illness in our culture; however, relative to Chinese culture, America is far more progressive in its view and treatment of mental illness. That is not to say that America's view of mental illness is monolithic. It brings me back to my interview of Dr. Francis Lu, renowned pioneering cultural psychiatrist, who said that while Asian Americans are entering medical school in droves (25%), there is a disproportionately low number entering the field of psychiatry.

Screenings at NY Universities and Discussion

2010-12-09T23:41:00.003-05:00

Students at Columbia University's psychology of race class and at the New School's Ethnicity, Culture and Mental Health really liked my film. I'm shocked to see that 5 of the 37 evaluations rated the rough cut a 10 out of a possible 10! The median score was 8. This was hugely, unexpectedly, validating. WOW is all I have to say. I was not expecting such high marks because there are so many flaws in this rough cut that have yet to be addressed. There are structural issues that have yet to be ironed out. If the project was fully funded, we would already have addressed these issues, but because we are all working part-time on this, it will take us months.
The class at Columbia is taught by Dr. Shinhee Han and is a part of the curriculum for Asian American Studies at their Center for the Study of Ethnicity and Race.

The experience was a refreshing change from the litany of criticisms we usually get from funders. We get rejected constantly by funders — literally 20 times or more a year for a myriad of reasons. We have been told by many professional filmmakers and producers that the film would not likely do well in their markets for a variety of reasons. The Director of Broadcast, Dayton, OH PBS told me that they weren't really that interested in the film because it would likely only appeal to Asians or those with a predisposition for the subject matter. Because these students are studying psyche, they would fall in that latter category. Even taking that into consideration, I think the marks were really high for an incomplete film with structural problems. There may be strong niche audiences for this film despite being constantly turned down for funding.Publish Post

"What kind of human being do you want to be?" Keynote by Cornel West and Reception at the Colorado Governor's Mansion - 2010 American Public Health Assoc Conference, Denver, CO)

2010-11-14T23:57:00.105-05:00

He was electrifying; he was soulfully authentic and gesticulated with his entire body.
Cornel West was awesome as the keynote speaker at the American Public Health Association conference on November 7, 2010 at the Colorado Convention Center, Denver, CO. He spoke with fierce conviction and mighty grace about current social justice issues. He asked us deep philosophical questions, challenged us to find the determination to address society’s critical problems, and expounded upon the impact of systemic racism on health. He asked “What kind of a human being do you want to be?” and declared that it is in learning how to die, one learns how to live, a statement I live by. Because the theme of the conference was social justice, he urged us to examine our lives, invoking Socratic dialectics, and to be on the constant and vigilant search for justice.

As a social activist and artist, I was inspired by his speech and enthralled by his creativity and intellectualism. Dr. West’s provocative lecture was refreshing in his authenticity and demonstration of ironclad will in his words and full body gesticulations. Watch the youtube video of his speech and you will see how he exudes soul, creativity and incisive wisdom. His challenges to lead the examined life are words to live by for social activists of my breed. One of my heroines, Yuri Kochiyama, the Japanese-American civil rights activist who worked alongside Malcolm X, says activists must hold themselves to a higher ethical standard, than ordinary non-activists because an activist's credibility is their most precious asset as he/she attempts to change the status quo. This raised bar, I think, is a rather high one to jump for anyone. But as anyone who knows me will attest, I am up for challenges and willing to make some sacrifices along the way.

I have asked myself the Socratic questions, and this I owe to 2 years of honors philosophy class in high school, which I must admit was pivotal in the formation of my life beliefs. It was important to me to hold my beliefs in the "right way" per John Stuart Mill, who said that it was most critical to question the basis of the most conventional, ubiquitous beliefs. Being a critical thinker, I know that the truth is often obscured by culture, commercialism, and the lack of volition to find the truth. Most of society does not hold their beliefs about mental illness in the "right ways."

The cultural stigma and the social conditioning surrounding the mental illness cannot be conquered through clinical research. It must be addressed by media, because media impacts culture. It seems that preventive medicine often overlooks cultural change as a means of prevention. Many of our lifestyle choices: the foods we consume, the amount of time spent exercising, how we view our illnesses and remedies, and where we go are greatly influenced by culture, but yet medicine fails to address cultural change.

We already know that stigma prevents people from, not only seeking the help they need, but also from acknowledging the problem at all. Denial runs very deep when there is shame involved. Shame is one of those emotions that some people would rather die than experience.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/11/world/asia/11psych.html?_r=2&emc=eta1

Dr. Georges Benjamin, the Executive Director of American Public Health Association, said in his opening speech that about 30% of the origins of African-American health disparities is rooted in culture, but rarely is funding ever allocated for cultural change. I could not agree more. The stigma of mental illness among Asian Americans is rooted in culture, but yet, funding does not go toward cultural change in our communities. Majority of disease prevention funding goes to clinical research, which is only 10% of the problem, according to his analysis. I understood very clearly why my efforts as a media activist are so under-appreciated and under-funded. The national health system does not address the cultural aspects of our health problems, such as diet, lack of exercise, stress management, and beliefs in the same way that clinical research is. The dietary problems of America and the stigma of mental illness are inculcated in our lifestyles and cultural norms. I found his analysis astute and interesting. But he offered no solutions, only that there is the need for change. Who in the realm of public health is funding cultural change? What has yet to be done about it?

Another resounding theme throughout the conference was racism and how it impacts health. There was a consciousness pervasive about race and racism among the attendees, scientific sessions, socials, workshops and discussions. I thought it appropriate for this reason, that I screened my film at this particular conference because Can, the subject of my film, frequently speaks about the childhood experiences of having been bullied and called "chink." Though the pain happened decades ago, he cannot seem to resolve that anger and heal those wounds. He attributes his present day depression to those experiences in childhood. The impact of racism on individuals is trauma, similar to and sometimes equivalent to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The first and only large-scale study of Asian Americans with mental illnesses, The National Latino and Asian American Study (NLASS) confirms the positive correlation between childhood experiences of racism and mental illness among Asian Americans. I am certain the results would be the same for Native Americans, African Americans or Latino Americans, because universally, racism is deeply wounding for all, including its perpetrators. Most recently, through the documentary film “Traces of the Trade,” I learned that, interestingly, racists also are wounded by their misdeeds.

As a member of the Mental Health Section of the APHA, I was invited to the Colorado Governor's Mansion to honor the First Lady of Colorado, Jean Ritter, for her mental health advocacy work. What an honor it was to be invited. The Mental Health Center of Denver rented the Carriage House of the Mansion and it was a lovely evening of connecting with other mental health advocates, psychologists, directors of various mental health non-profits, and other mental health professionals. I met lots of interesting people there and I was quite enthralled with the whole evening.

At the Colorado Governor's Mansion where the First Lady of Colorado was honored for her mental health advocacy work. From left to right, Batool Fatima, Doctorate of Public Health, Boston Univ.; Karla Bartholomew, PhD, JD; Usha Sambamoorthi, PhD, an honoree for her mentoring work; and Pearl J. Park

Only about 30 showed up for my screening, which was a bit disappointing considering that there were 12,000 conference attendees. My screening was running simultaneously as about 50 other scientific sessions, workshops and socials so I was not surprised to see a low turnout. The schedule for the conference was literally the size of a phonebook, and I personally had difficulty deciding which sessions to attend because there was such a large spectrum of choices. But overall the responses were very positive. A medical anthropologist from Harvard lavished praise and said to call him when the film is done. Because this is a highly, educated crowd with teaching and clinical positions, I feel that the screening was, indeed, very worthwhile since these viewers will be able to apply their learned knowledge in their practice and teaching. They are key opinion leaders, who will influence their circles and disseminate the information.

During the question and answer period after the screening of my film, an Asian woman asked me if I had shown the film to any Asian American audiences and I responded that I had and that it was met with overwhelmingly positive responses. I later learned that she broke down into tears shortly after I had answered her question. She continued to sob in her chair as her friend next to her comforted her. Though I did not know why, it affirmed for me that I was striking a deep, untouched emotional nerve in people simply by showing my film.

Pearl answering questions at her screening.

I had a fantastic time. Made a good friend named Karla who recently graduated with her PhD in Health Policy and JD. After my presentation and screening, she and I went on a pedicab ride and had a celebratory sushi dinner. Though I love sushi, I rarely dined at sushi restaurants anymore because it's too costly. I didn't network as much as I should have, but I wasn't up to socializing as I should have been.

Do you know that at every social, there was lots of high-fat, sugary foods? I could not find any whole grain carbs. The available food throughout the conference was one of the worst in terms of nutritional quality, I've ever had to be subjected to at a conference. The food itself was a public health threat, ironically. Hot dogs on white bread, sodas, pretzels, and candy were available at every concession stand throughout the convention center. Because there was no official lunch break, most people ate lunch in the convention center. How ironic that someone teaching a session about the need for a better diet should have to eat a hot dog, which has sodium nitrates and dextrose, for lunch. The hypocrisy was so in-your-face, nearly impossible to ignore, because the same people conducting sessions and research about various public health issues and preaching about how the obesity epidemic is affecting America were fat themselves. It was possibly one of the strangest sights I've ever seen. Several of the executive management of the American Public Health Assoc are overweight. One of them is so morbidly obese so much so that he is probably 1/3 as wide as he is tall. He spoke about the child obesity epidemic in America in his opening speech. Doesn't he experience cognitive dissonance at some level? I get very frustrated when I see medical doctors, doctorates of public health, advanced nurse practitioners, and all those whose primary occupational responsibility is to care for the health of others who cannot apply that knowledge to their own lives. They should serve as role models for their community, but instead, they are a part of the problem. That said, there is a bit of hypocrisy in each of us, but I guess I hold the privileged and powerful to higher standards of behavior. These are among the scientific elite, who have studied critical health issues and made a lucrative career on health. Most are PhDs, DrPH, and MDs. Common sense dictates that people should walk the walk before talking the talk.

I realize that 60% of the American people are overweight; much of it has to do with corporate America's takeover of grocery stores. There are so few unprocessed foods in supermarkets, particularly the chains like A&P, Safeway, with the exception of Whole Foods. Everything has corn (maltodextrin, methylcellulose, cellulose are just many of the guised names for corn) and sugar in it. Corn, because it's subsidized by the government. See http://www.kingcorn.net/ for a documentary film about corn and its many incarnations in the grocery aisles. Many of those fat are middle-aged just like me. Many low-earning and uneducated people are obese because they do not have access to or cannot afford greens. Or they simply do not know the harmful effects of high fat and high sugar consumption. Income and education corresponds with having choices and being informed.

But the exec. management of the Amer. Public Health Assoc. aren't ordinary people. They're high-earning MDs, DrPH, PhDs, who are among this nation's scientific elite, research critical health issues, and wield a great deal of power both in leading a 12,000 plus people. The leadership of APHA lobby Congress for better health policies and are responsible for leading the nation to better health. Dr. Benjamin (ED) has got to feel uncomfortable fighting for public health policies and essentially doing his job in the condition that he's in. I guess I hold these people to a much higher standard of ethics, because of their positions and their power.

That said, I am not without my own hypocrisies as a former smoker who tried to quit for 7 years before finally quitting. I smoked on and off for 25 years. I would do yoga for a 1.5 hours and then come home and have a cigarette. The intense feeling of self-loathing was just unbearable. I could not reconcile my behavior with my conscience; nonetheless, I was helpless to this addiction, which felt like it was somehow shackled to the core of my being. So I do have empathy and compassion for the above-mentioned public health officials for their plight because they must feel just awful and terribly embarrassed to be presenting such academic knowledge about health issues while obese.

We Won a $10K Grant from Asian Women Giving Circle

2010-07-01T01:41:00.001-04:00

I am so thrilled. I am jumping up and down.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: June 28, 2010

Contact: Angie Wang, Director, Asian Women Giving Circle

angie@asianwomengivingcircle.org 646-300-6173

www.asianwomengivingcircle.org

Asian Women Donors Grant $82,000 to NYC ARTIStS AND

Non-Profits committed to activism THRU the arts

As Recession Hits Arts Groups Hard, Asian Women Giving Circle increases Giving

New York City, NY – A music video that raises awareness about sex-trafficking, a documentary about mental illness and suicide in the Asian American community, and a multi-media summer workshop for low-income immigrant girls who live with the legacy of war are among the nine New York City-based non-profit arts projects that received $82,000 in grants from the Asian Women Giving Circle (AWGC) this year.

The grants, which represent a $12,000 increase from AWGC’s giving from the year before, come at a time when state and local government funding for the arts is down. In 2009, state legislative arts appropriations decreased nationwide for the first time in four years—down 3.3 percent to $343.1 million. Local arts funding also fell by 3 percent, according to research by Americans for the Arts and Giving USA Foundation.

“Arts funding, especially for small organizations with bold ideas, has been a major casualty of the recession,” said Hali Lee, founder of the Asian American Women Giving Circle. “We’re proud to be doing our part to bridge the gap -- and hope our efforts will inspire others to support artists and nonprofits that are using the arts to make a social difference.”

The nine grantees were chosen for their excellence in using the tools of culture, the arts and education to raise awareness and catalyze action around critical issues that impact Asian American communities. The grants will be formally awarded at a garden party at the Mertz Gilmore Foundation on June 30^th from 6 to 8 pm. And, on September 29^th from 6 to 8 pm at the Museum of Chinese in Americas (MOCA) the Asian Women Giving Circle will showcase the work of grantees at its 4^th Annual Celebration of Activism thru the Arts. Media are invited to both events.

In its fifth year of raising resources and philanthropists, the AWGC has raised and distributed over $380,000 in New York City to thirty-nine individual artists and community-based organizations.

“One promising trend that has emerged from the funding crisis is that more arts groups are looking for ways to partner with social service organizations, whose role in the community is more critical than ever,” said AWGC Director Angie Wang. “These types of collaboration have always been at the heart of the Giving Circle’s mission, and we’re gratified to see it picking up steam across the arts sector.”

The 2010 AWGC grant recipients, each of whom will receive awards of $8,000 to $10,000, are:

Asian American Writers’ Workshop – Double Exposure: War Narratives at Home

The Asian American Writers’ Workshop is the largest non-profit devoted to creating, publishing, developing and disseminating creative writing by Asian Americans. Double Exposure: War Narratives at Home is a multi-media, Pan-Asian arts workshop that will focus on the experiences of Asian American girls ages 14-18 displaced by war. This nine-week, intensive summer workshop led by women artists will bring together low-income, underrepresented girls who are primary and secondary witnesses to war (from the Philippines, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Burma, Iran, etc.) to share the stories of their lives through photography and writing, encouraging bonds across nationalities and generations. www.aaww.org.

DAMAYAN Migrant Workers Association – Paglalakbay: Journeys of Filipina Domestic Workers

Paglalakbay is a multi-arts project that partners domestic workers with young Filipino cultural workers (photographers, visual artists, performance artists, poets and musicians) to document their working conditions, life, resilience and resistance. Through arts skills training workshops, Filipino women workers will produce cultural works to be used for a public showcase, campaign materials for DAMAYAN, and as a source for generating income. Two key cultural art products from this project are the Paglalakbay Memory Cookbook, which will include recipes from various regions of the Philippines that have been adapted to the US by the women workers and a month-long public installation of art works created over the course of the project. DAMAYAN Migrant Workers Association is a grassroots organization based in New York and New Jersey that promotes the rights and welfare of Filipino migrant workers. www.damayanmigrants.org.

Desipina Productions – Out of the Kitchen and Into the Fire

Founded in 2000, Desipina Productions is a Brooklyn-based South Asian and Asian American theater and film arts company. Its mission is to combat stereotypes in pop culture and mainstream culture by providing points of views rarely seen. The project is a three-month series of events by women including a tour of “Hiding Divya,” a film about mental illness among three generations of women in a South Asian family produced and directed by Desipina’s founders, play readings, and a panel on APA women in the arts. The tour will include colleges and community centers in New York and across the country. The purpose of the series is to start a dialogue about mental illness within the South Asian community and to counter stereotypes of Asian women in the broader society. www.hidingdivya.com.

Hanalei Ramos and Jung Ung | the Asian Arts Initiative – Cycles

“Cycles” is a multi-ethnic, multi-media art project that includes a documentary featuring short interviews with more than150 customers at two laundromats in Woodside, Queens and Jersey City, NJ, most of whom are women who reflect the dynamic and evolving demographic changes in their communities. Raw highlights of interviews will be posted to a web site and on YouTube and shown at Asian American film festivals, community centers and college campuses. In addition, installations will be placed in both laundromats to display photographs and stories of interviewees. The project will highlight the oral histories of Asian women within their immigrant communities, empowering women to become advocates for the community issues affecting them. www.myspace.com/hanaleihanalei.

May Ling Lai - Music Video on Child Trafficking

May Ling Lai is an Asian American woman singer, songwriter, and producer. Building on the success of a music video and public service announcement (PSA) she produced about domestic violence entitled “Someday.” May Ling will create a music video and public education campaign to raise awareness about the problem of child trafficking, globally and here in New York City. In addition to the music video, footage will be used to create a public service announcement. Online discussions, forums, blogs, and other internet media will be used to create awareness on this issue and inspire activism. www.songswithavoice.com.

Pearl J. Park via Light Fish Arts – Can

“Can,” a documentary film produced by Asian American director Pearl J. Park, is a realistic, balanced and in-depth film portrayal of the mental illness and suicide within the Asian American community. It will be used to educate mental health providers who have little to no cross-cultural training and may be unfamiliar with traditional Asian practices and beliefs. In addition, the documentary will be shared with key Asian American opinion leaders to help create a social dialogue about this serious health issue and break the taboo power of mental illness within Asian American communities. http://www.amongourkin.org.

Ping Chong & Company – Undesirable Elements: Secret Survivors

“Secret Survivors” is a theatrical multimedia production featuring survivors of child sexual abuse sharing their stories through dramatic narrative. The piece, which draws upon Ping Chong & Company “Undesirable Elements” model (an interview-based theater project exploring social justice issues through the lens of culture and identity), will act as a vehicle to break taboos, improve community and policy responses, and generate healing through storytelling. Secret Survivors will be led by Amita Swadhin, a queer South Asian educator, anti-violence activist, and incest survivor. By creating a performance that showcases the story of a South Asian American survivor, the production will provide tools that can raise the issue of child sexual abuse in Asian American communities and help service providers better understand how this abuse plays out in Asian American communities. www.undesirableelements.org/pages/secretsurvivors.html.

Ruby Veridiano - Glamourbaby Diaries

A new project developed by Ruby Veridiano, an Asian American spoken word and hip hop performance artist, poet, and arts educator, Glamourbaby Diaries is an empowerment program for young women, ages 14 to 21, using writing and incorporating media, fashion, and women’s history. The goal of this program is to create an inspiring and provocative space for young women to explore their identity and assert their voices in the public sphere. The program will focus on the leadership and personal development of female leaders, thinkers, and writers, providing participants with tools to strengthen the expression of their opinions and ideas, thus creating opportunities to better represent themselves in their families, schools, and communities. www.rubyisill.com/blog.

Women Make Movies - Slaying the Dragon: Reloaded

“Slaying the Dragon: Reloaded” is a 30-minute sequel to the 1986 award-winning film, “Slaying the Dragon: Asian Women in U.S. Television and Film”, a comprehensive look at media stereotypes of Asian and Asian American women since the silent era of film. The film addresses how Hollywood’s visual representations of Asian women have changed with globalization and the transformation of America's population over the past two decades. By challenging viewers to question the pop culture images they see and by offering alternative voices, Women Make Movies aims to help create real change in the way that Asians are seen. www.wmm.com

About the Asian Women Giving Circle

The Asian Women Giving Circle is a group of Asian American women pooling their money to fund other Asian women in NYC who use the tools of art to further a social equity goal. We work together to raise resources to support Asian American serving, Asian American women-led social change organizations in New York City’s under-served communities. We raise resources and philanthropists. AWGC is a donor-advised fund of Asian Americans/Pacific Islanders in Philanthropy (www.aapip.org).

For more information, please visit www.asianwomengivingcircle.org

"Asian American Mental Health" Panel at NYU — My Largest Screening Yet

2010-03-12T01:16:00.107-05:00

The NYU "Asian American Mental Health" Panel on March 11, 2010.

Spectacularly well — was how my panel at NYU went. It was nearly packed — sold out a week prior to the event. NYU decided to lift the ceiling on the number of attendees and allowed more people to RSVP, moving the venue to a larger auditorium. The audience were highly engaged and carried their discussions out to the reception. My co-presenters were professors/scholars: Irene Chung, PhD, Associate Professor and Chair, Casework Curriculum, Hunter College School of Social Work, Sel J. Hwahng, PhD, Center for the Study of Ethnicity and Race, Columbia University, Duy Nguyen, MSW, PhD, Assistant Professor, Silver School of Social Work, NYU, Tazuko Shibuzawa, MSW, PhD, Associate Professor of Social Work, NYU. They spoke so highly of my half-baked film, I nearly gushed. Dr Nguyen lit up as he spoke about my film. He was genuinely impressed with the intimate moments between Can and his family. These scholars were able to appreciate the difficulty of my feat — nearly 6 years of hard work — and it was hugely validating. After the event, a line of people formed in front of me to speak with me.

A cardiologist from a local hospital offered to help me fund-raise. A psychologist came and told me how important my film was and that she was really impressed. Several students asked me questions about the content. One of my former co-workers came and said "Congratulations on so many levels." A Japanese-American therapist came from Greenwich, CT to see my film. People drove from all over the tri-state area for this event. There were Asian language press there who came to interview me.

After years of getting grant application rejections from foundations, the overwhelmingly positive response was a refreshing change. Not to mention the never-ending queue of Asian American organizations that did not even bother to call me back. That was why I was doing this film in the first place because many Asian American community-based organizations weren't willing to raise the issue of mental illness to their constituents. The only time a few Asian American organizations made any effort to hold discussions on mental health was after the Virginia Tech massacre and the suicide of the beloved and widely-respected Chinese-American historian and writer Iris Chang. Most Asian American organizations didn't active seek to address the issues of denial and shame surrounding mental illness without the pretext of a tragedy. Supposedly, NYU had a disproportionately high number of Asian American student suicides on campus, several years ago which led to the administration's interest in holding this panel discussion. Once people have died, it's too late. But that's usually when it's fashionable and socially acceptable to speak out about mental health issues.

During the Q&A, a Euro-American drama therapist remarked that the film "demonized" Can's father. I asked him specifically how he was demonized and he thought the film unfairly positioned him to seen as the source of Can's issues. I explained that was, indeed, one of my concerns, but that I had committed to presenting life from the point of view of a consumer because the voice of someone with mental illness was rarely ever heard in the media without sensationalism or hyperbole. At the time of this videoshoot, Can had a deep conviction that he had unresolved issues with his father, which resulted in a lot of his self-doubt and depression. Mr. Truong says in one of the scenes "I didn't hit [Can] very hard because he's so weak." I did have concerns about how Mr. Truong's view on corporal punishment might be construed by people who were not raised in cultures where "spanking" children was an integral part of daily life. There is likely to be judgments made in their eyes. And my goal was to increase inter-cultural understanding, as opposed to creating more divides and judgment. In many Asian public health school systems, hitting students for disobedience or not doing their homework is and was an everyday reality. Though I did not attend the first grade in Korea, my sister and brother did. They frequently talked about getting wacked by the teacher, whom they loved and highly respected. Such pain was considered an acceptable form of discipline — a means to an ends — an education. It's probably no wonder that Korea has one of the highest literacy rates in the world. The logic is that getting hit on the hand or on the back of the calves was a small price to pay for inculcating the discipline to earn an education. Some people may consider this to be a form of violence. Last year, I attended one public health conference and one conference about global health issues. I know that several health studies showed that early childhood spanking or "violence" as some public health advocates deemed was a valid predictor of adult health and social problems. Studies indicate that even early age spanking will lead the child to engage in increasingly more aggressive behavior later in childhood and adulthood.

Even as an Asian American, I certainly was inclined to judge Mr. Truong, in part because he reminded me of my own stern Confucian father, who also believed in hitting as a form of discipline, punishment and means of expressing anger, which was typical for Korean men of his generation. Hitting a child wasn't considered wrong even among some Asian Americans. The concept of child abuse did not exist in Asian cultures, for the most part, because children were viewed as extensions of the parents. One could not abuse one's own child anymore than one could abuse their arm. Conceptually, it may be difficult for someone raised in a culture, philosophically more based on individualism, to understand.

My brief introductory speech to my film is below:

Thank you all so much for being here. I was stunned to learn that within days this panel had actually become booked. Rock concerts sell out within days, not panels on Asian American mental health. Who knew that the world was hungry for this? This film is in its very early rough cut stages, typically unseen to the public, but we wanted to share Can’s story even in its roughest form. None of the audio has been leveled nor has the color correction been completed because we are still trying to raise funds for post-production. I apologize in advance for some of the rough transitions that you will see in this cut. Though things are far from perfect, but you’ll see that we have a story.

One thing is clear: there is a chasm between traditional Asian views on mental health and the conventional medical establishment’s theories of mental illness. And there really haven’t been many films which explore this issue. There are literally 100’s, if not 1000’s, of documentary films that address the topic of mental illness, but less than 3 which shed light on the experience from an Asian American perspective.

About 2-4% of the general population have a serious and persistent mental illness like schizophrenia, psychosis, bipolar disorder, major depression, etc.. In the Southeast Asian refugee community of which Can is a member, some studies have shown the rates of post-traumatic stress, anxiety and depressive disorders are as high as 60-80% due to the experience of war in their countries of origin.

I would consider this film project a success if it brings Asian American communities to talk about mental illness and familiarize the broader general public about the experience of mental illness from an Asian American perspective. Among all the ethnic minorities in the U.S., Asian Americans are least likely to seek therapy for psychological or emotional problems and are the most likely to confront linguistic and cultural barriers to finding competent mental health services.

Historically, most images of people with psychiatric diagnoses in the mass media have been often sensationalistic and associated with criminal violence in both the news and fiction TV, contributing to the social stigma. When a person with a serious psychological issue overcomes their disability, returns and graduates from college after having to drop out due to his disability and contributes to his/her community, his/her stories does not make headlines, even though that person may have had to overcome numerous difficulties to do what ordinary people take for granted. There is a gross imbalance in coverage of stories about people with MI, reinforcing negative stereotypes. Furthermore for Asian Americans, they are viewed as a model minority, a group with few, if any, problems, which is reinforced by the mainstream media’s focus on Asian American success stories. Asian Americans suffer from the widespread misperception that they are a “model,” healthy minority. This stereotype presents an inaccurate picture of their mental and physical health, thereby limiting education, prevention, and treatment efforts for mental illness to this community. I sought to provide a realistic and respectful portrayal of Can’s life in this film, to help dispel the myths and stereotypes.

I would like to give special thanks to one of my non-profit fiscal sponsors of this film Mental Health Assoc. of California who was instrumental in helping us to find funding from the California Endowment which has made this last 2 and half years of production and editing possible. Also special thanks to the National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association for connecting me with Can. Without further ado, I’d like to present “Can.”

When Good Things Happen to Good People -- Short Documentary Film 2010 Academy Award Nomination

2010-03-06T23:25:00.032-05:00

One of the first things I learned as a budding filmmaker is that filmmaking is not a meritocracy. Like many industries, you move up the film world through who you know, not what you know. Pseudo-artists make it big while real artists starve. Some of the best works of art do not necessarily garner the most accolades; some of the most violent and gratituously sexually explicit independent films, in the name of art, often win many awards at both Cannes and the Independent Spirit Awards. Some films which I consider to be extraordinary don't quite make it commercially while others which I would consider to be less worthy go on to become blockbuster hits. The world of film has its particular tastes and trends, which often go against my personal aesthetics and tastes. Commercial value reigns. Artistry seems only to be noticed when the film can fill theatres and has popular appeal. Forget about social value. The broader film business is largely about entertainment and the art of making money. This is why most independent films lose, not make, money without big studio backing.

As a voting member of the Independent Spirit Awards, I do have a say in who wins and loses. I find it disturbing that the current trend in film is to glorify murder, mayhem and heinous acts. One of the fest favorites this year was "Sin Nombre," by a American Cary Fukunaga, who is of half Japanese and Swedish ancestry. While a beautifully artistic film, it had multiple highly-graphic scenes of attempted rapes and children committing acts of violence. I flinched each time. An 11-year-old kid shoots a man; the corpse is cut up into pieces and fed to the dogs. I understand the such images may be expressing the heinous realities germane to the storyline. However, I find myself deluged with so many bizarre and disturbing films being nominated for top awards. "Sin Nombre" is probably one of the first American films which provides historical insight into the Central American/Mexican immigrant experience. According to published reports, Funakaga researched his story meticulously. But did it have to be so violent? Was that violence germane to the expression of story? I think some of it was; I think some of it was commercial sensationalism packaged in an avante garde style. It was a masterful example of visual storytelling but it did not have so many graphic scenes of violence. So many of the nominated Independent Spirit Award films are violent. Last year's "Hunger" and "Gomorrah" made me numb. No surprise that Quentin Tarantino sits on the jury of Cannes and other like-minded filmmakers lavish praise of these masterful expressions of the darker sides of human nature.

What does this have to do anything with the Academy Awards? The Ohio-based documentary filmmaking couple Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert who helped me to find production crew in Dayton, have been nominated for their short documentary film "The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant." They are among the humblest and kindest in our species and among the finest docmakers in the U.S.

Their sensitive, intimate portrayal of GM workers losing their jobs and community as the last truck rolls off the assembly lines brought me to tears. It is about the impact of the recession on ordinary, working-class folks who want nothing more than to raise their family. No murder or mayhem glorified here, but the glorification of ordinary law-abiding Americans who are suffering loss. I saw portions of the film at the IFP Market and met Steven in person there for the first time, though I have been corresponding with him for the past 5 years.

And moreover, I am thrilled that good films and great humane filmmakers without giant egos get the spotlight and recognition that they deserve. I could not be happier with their nomination. As my Associate Producer Karen said "That's great. Isn't it nice when good things happen to good people? Especially in an industry where, at least in my experience, people often fail upward, or are rewarded merely for whom they know..." She worked in film for a decade before she had kids.

Steven Bognar helped me from the very beginning in 2005 when I first began shooting my film in Ohio. He didn't even know a single thing about me. I just called him up and without hesitation he assisted. He helped me to find a cameraperson who was willing to work at student rates the last time I was in Ohio in April 2009. During that same videoshoot, when 2 out of my 3 batteries went dead all of the sudden and I was unable to find a professional videostore in Dayton, Steve saved the day by calling up several of his filmmaker friends in the Dayton, OH and asked them to help me. I'm in awe of their generosity as much as I am of their achievements. Anyways, just found out that they were nominated last night and can't stop raving about them. Usually, I am complaining that such and such film got nominated when another should have been. In recent years, I've lamented the growing number of nominations, which did not deserve its place, but got there because of big studio backing. There is meritocracy in the film world after all. Justice sometimes prevails.

Prejudices Against People Who Speak English as a Second Language

2009-12-31T21:59:00.002-05:00

Several years ago, we submitted a trailer of our film to a well-known Asian American Film funder, whose name I will not mention here. And our grant application was rejected and I requested a reviews by the judges. One of them said that it was clear that Mr. Truong, Can's father, did not speak English as his first language and that I should have gotten him a translator. This statement was rather offensive to me and made me wonder how an Asian American organization could have allowed that judge to be critiquing films. Firstly, the fact that a language is not a person's first does not necessarily mean that he/she cannot be fluent or speak the language proficiently. Many Asian Americans speak one or more languages well without an accent; many people around the world are multi-lingual. In fact, in many countries around the world, it is natural to learn several languages. In Holland, most speak English, in addition to Dutch. In several African countries, there are over 200 languages, many of them are indigenous and are spoken by a small percentage of the population. Albeit, many indigenous tongues are slowly becoming extinct as Indo-European languages become the norm as developing nations move from an agrarian-based economy to an industry-based economy. Such insensitivities should not be perpetrated by an Asian American organization. They should know better having lived at the confluence of two or more linguistic world.

English isn't my first language, but I speak it better than most. This is one of the ways in the majority of Americans, many of whom are monolingual take barbs at Asian Americans who speak a multitude of languages. Furthermore, an accent is not indicative of ignorance or an inability to speak the language. I must preface this statement with the disclaimer that individuals have variable levels of linguistic ability and highly different ways of expressing themselves. Some people can learn to speak many languages proficiently, just like some people can learn to excel at playing several instruments or play a variety of different sports.

Among Asian Americans, Many Subgroups Lack Adequate Health Coverage

2009-10-13T12:07:00.000-04:00

This article from Asiaweek underscores the disservice that the model minority myth does to Asian Americans.

January 28, 2009

Asian Americans are often seen as the model minority, with higher rates of education, income, and employment. But this perception might be overshadowing the problems of lack of health insurance coverage among the Asian American community.
In a January 2007 study by Kaiser Family Foundation called “Key Facts: Race, Ethnicity, and Medical Care,” Asian Americans, when compared to other minority groups, had relatively high rates of health coverage. Of the white, non-Hispanic population, 13 percent were uninsured, with Asian Americans falling not far behind, with 19 percent uninsured. In contrast, 34 percent of Hispanics, 32 percent of Native Americans and Alaska Natives, and 21 percent of African Americans were uninsured. Comparatively, Asian Americans were the best-performing minority group in terms of health coverage.
But when separated into different ethnicities, the data for health insurance coverage for Asian Americans becomes shocking, with many subgroups having high rates of uninsured people.
“When we aggregate the data and look at it all together, they do perform better than all other ethnic groups, but when we disaggregate them, we find that lumping Asian Americans together really does mask a lot of problems,” said Cara James, senior policy analyst for Kaiser Family Foundation, who led a study released April 2008 that examined health coverage among Asian Pacific Islanders.
The study found large variations among the Asian American population: Employer-sponsored coverage was as high as 77 percent for Asian Indians, but as low as 49 percent for Koreans. In general, Indians and Japanese had the highest rates of coverage, with just 12 percent of their populations uninsured.
Filipinos followed with 14 percent uninsured, Chinese with 16 percent, other South Asians with 20 percent, Vietnamese with 21 percent, Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders with 24 percent, and Koreans, with the highest rate of uninsured, at 31 percent.
James attributed the high rate of uninsured among Koreans to their tendency to work in small businesses which can’t afford employee health insurance. “Koreans tend to work for smaller employers, which partly explains higher rates of uninsured, contrasted to the perception that Koreans tend to be not poor, so though they have high incomes, they have lower rates of insurance,” she said.
The Kaiser Family Foundation study found that 60 percent of nonelderly adult Korean workers are employed at companies with 100 employees or less, compared to less than 40 percent for other Asian and Pacific Islander groups.
One of the major issues uncovered by the study was the effect of grouping Pacific Islanders and Native Hawaiians with Asians: the low rates of health coverage among Pacific Islanders are masked by the influence of the larger populations like Chinese and Filipinos.
Deeana Jang, policy director of Asian and Pacific Islander American Health Forum, who helped with the study, said, “We shouldn’t lump all Asian Americans together. The Pacific Islander number is such small number, it’s really meaningless. We need to separate it out.”
James agreed, especially considering the large disparities in coverage between Asians and Pacific Islanders.
“We tend to talk about Asian Americans collectively, but Native Hawaiians have rates compared to some of the worst-performing minority groups,” James said.
James correlated the rates of health coverage to income, saying that Indians had the highest rate of coverage because they are least likely to be poor, meaning their incomes are well above the federal poverty line. Meanwhile, she pointed out that 43 percent of Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders are near poor.
Gem Daus, a Filipino American studies and Asian American sexuality professor at the University of Maryland, who formerly worked with APIAHF, agreed that income is a major factor in getting coverage.
“It’s expensive, and it’s hard to get, especially when you’re not making a lot of money,” he said.
But even beyond issues of low income, are language barriers, which make it difficult for those who don’t speak English well to navigate a health system that is already complicated.
“It’s confusing enough in English,” Daus said.
One unique program in Montgomery County, Maryland is trying to remedy this.
Called the Asian American Health Initiative, the program was established in 2005 to meet the health needs of Asian Americans in the county, which comprise 13.5 percent of the Montgomery County population. The program aims to expand health services available to Asian Americans, outreach to different ethnic groups about the availability of health care, and eliminate barriers for those in the Asian American community to accessing health care. It specifically targets seniors and recent immigrants who are often isolated.
“Asian Americans have the highest linguistic isolation compared to other groups, even Hispanics,” said Julie Bawa, AAHI’s program director.
Often, language barriers can prevent immigrants from seeking health care or understanding how to obtain health insurance. To fix this problem, AAHI has a program called the Patient Navigator Program.
The program identifies health resources for Asian Americans in Montgomery County and helps navigate the health care system for people who otherwise would have been limited by lack of English skills, uninsured or underinsured status, or socioeconomic status. Information specialists speak Hindi, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Korean, languages spoken by 70 percent of the county’s Asian American population. For those who need other languages, language lines are used to translate.
Bawa said that the top question asked is “How do I get insurance?” Questions also range from how to apply for Medicare and Medicaid to simple requests for help filling out forms, showing a gap between the availability of health coverage and general understanding in how to obtain it.
“There needs to be more awareness in general, as well as more effort in having materials in different languages,” Bawa said.
But even beyond language barriers are obstacles for recent immigrants, who must wait five years after arriving in the U.S. to be eligible for public health programs.
“Because Asian Americans are largely an immigrant population, there are still some barriers for immigrants to access public health coverage,” Jang said.
Immigrants also face the problem of conflicting priorities: whether to get health coverage or deal with more immediate needs like finding jobs and providing for the family, said Bawa.
There is also the issue of cultural barriers. Findings from the Commonwealth Fund’s 2001 Health Care Quality Survey found that Asian Americans, as compared to other groups, were “the least likely to feel that their doctor understands their background and values, to have confidence in their doctor, and to be as involved in decision-making as they would like to be.”
Only 56 percent of Asian Americans said they felt involved in decision-making, compared to 78 percent of whites. Only 48 percent reported they felt their doctor understood their background and values, compared to the highest rate of 61 percent for Hispanics.
Jang said she thinks this could be prevented if doctors took the time to find out more about their patients. “In order to have high quality care, you have to be patient-sensitive, you don’t treat patients same. You need to find out about their lives, and ask the right questions,” she said.
Interestingly, the Kaiser Family Foundation study found that Asian Americans who were 3^rd plus generation Americans were the most likely to have health insurance, compared to other subgroups, with just 11 percent uninsured.
However, James attributes this not to cultural values, but to the fact that families in the U.S. longer tend to have higher education, income, and jobs, which she says all affect take-up of coverage.
Jang agreed, especially based on her own experience. “My grandma was a garment worker. She didn’t have health coverage. I’m an attorney. So the longer people are here, the next generation gets better jobs that are more likely to provide coverage.”
Still, high un-insurance rates remain a problem, especially in light of Asian Americans’ high susceptibility to cancer and Hepatitis B.
Those without health insurance tend to not seek health care, missing out on preventative screenings for things like cancer. This is especially important because cancer is the leading cause of death for Asian Americans, according to data from 2003 from the National Center of Health Statistics. But for Hispanics, African Americans, and whites, heart disease is the leading cause of death.
Jang said she believes this abnormal trend is due to the fact that Asian Americans are less likely to be screened for cancer, allowing the problem to worsen over time and only be caught later on.
The solution to improving health insurance rates still has yet to be found. Daus believes that universal health care coverage should be expanded, while making sure to outreach to specific communities. Jang believes that more patient navigators should be provided to help Asian Americans who would otherwise be lost trying to understand a complicated system.
But one thing remains clear, despite perceptions of Asian Americans being a model minority, health coverage and access to care are major problems in the community. Access to health insurance needs to be made easier, Daus said.
He said, “Health insurance is a safety net for the future, but if you have more immediate needs and it’s not easy to get, it’s easy to ignore.”

Recovering from a Home Burglary

2009-09-27T01:13:00.043-04:00

I live in an ungentrified, densely-populated, urban neighborhood; some snobby upper-middle people might even call my neighborhood a ghetto. For me, it's where I've always wanted to live: an undeveloped neighborhood where class wasn't an issue. I had previously envied those who moved into Soho when it was rows of slaughter houses and Williamsburg when there was gang violence on the streets. Within many artist sub-cultures in NYC, to live in an ungentrified urban development was a badge of honor and courage among artists/activists like myself. It's one thing to say that you're not bourgeois, but to live among the more disenfranchised is another.
As an artist/activist whose heroines and heroes have always been those who have stood against the tide of classism, I have always known that I had to live in a neighborhood like one that I do. I have dedicated my life to fighting classism, racism, sexism, and now ableism, (which is discrimination against people with disabilities). It is easy to fight classism from afar, from an ivory tower or from an upper-middle to middle class neighborhoods where I have lived most of my life. Many intellectuals can talk the talk, but cannot walk the walk. So here I am. I am a product of privilege in certain ways; I spent my last years of high school in an upper-middle class, white, Jewish neighborhood, contemplating Kant and Plato which led to my liberal enlightenment. If there is any one thing responsible for my poverty, it is my liberal education that has propelled my quest for truth and justice. Though on paper I appear to be a product of privilege, education and culture, I think not with some of the chronic mental health issues in my family, I was in certain ways deprived of stability that every child deserves.

I wanted to move into this neighborhood, where there are drug dealers and not-so-kind people on the streets. I chose this despite all my other choices in nice middle-class neighborhoods with manicured lawns, so I should not lament. But lately, I have questioning my decision to buy my condo in this neighborhood and here's why:

In the past month, my neighborhood has been under siege, making national headlines with a brutal shooting of 5 cops and a story that reads like a script out of an episode of Law and Order. In pursuit of the criminals, the police deployed the SWAT Team and a police helicopter, which hovered directly over our building at 5:30am in the morning on July 16, 2009. The sound of it was so surreal, had someone told me that it was UFO landing on top of our building I would likely have believed them. I literally woke up believing that I had dreamt the strange loud noise and fell immediately back to sleep. This happened less than 2 blocks from my home on July 16, 2009: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/17/nyregion/17jersey.html?scp=1&sq=reed%20street%20jersey%20city&st=cse

One month later, my home was burglarized while I was asleep. It's been crazy ever since. I have to finish writing this later, but I think I have to go to sleep. But below are the events that happened.

I woke up around noon on August 11, 2009 to find the window fan in one of the 2 windows in my office removed and placed in a chair next to the window. One of the last things I had done prior to going to bed at 3 am was turn off the window fan so I was immediately alarmed and knew that this was an indication that something was seriously wrong. I walked into my dining and living room area and discovered that my 2 laptops and digital camera were gone. My immediate impulse was to knock on some of the doors on my floor to ask if anyone had seen or heard anything, but I could not find my bag, which contained my house keys. I walked throughout my home, searching in the usual places I stored my bag, but it was nowhere to be found. I frantically continued to search for my bag, which also contained my cellphone, wallet, cash and credit cards, in disbelief. I then called the police, my sister and Vanessa, the superintendent of our building. I began to search my apartment for other missing items and clues while still in a mild state of shock and disbelief. At approximately 12:20pm, Officer Howlett came and took my police report.
My apartment is on the 5^th floor and the window, which appeared to be the point of entry, is not on a fire escape so the point of entry being that window seemed very implausible. But it did certainly appear that way. I wondered if the perpetrator might have entered through the roof and somehow accessed the window via the roof so I asked Officer Howlett if we should perhaps investigate the roof. I asked him to please take a look at the roof, which is only accessible by key. The door to the roof, if not opened with a key, sounds siren so I cleared roof access with Vanessa. I also asked her if there was anyone else who had roof keys and she said no. The officer and I went on the roof and found nothing unusual. The only things I noticed in the roof area directly above the window, were DirectTV Satellite Dishes installed. The officer said this was not significant in any way. He seemed skeptical that the window was the point of entry for the burglar to enter my apartment. The window was not adjacent to any other structures that could have given the burglar access to this window at such a dangerous height of 5 flights. He asked me if anyone had keys to my apartment and if my door had been open when I discovered the burglary. I told him that only my superintendent had the keys and that the door was slightly ajar when I first discovered the burglary as if the intruder left using my front door. He asked me questions that seemed to imply that it was possible that the perpetrator somehow used the front door as access and set up the scene to appear as if the window was used to as the point of entry. To this day, I do not have any solid evidence to establish the exact point of entry.
Later that evening when a neighbor, Ben, came over to help me replace the lock to my door, he noticed a large palm print on the outside ledge of the window. So I called the police again to request that they come and take the prints as evidence. Officers Bravo and Montanez came, looked at the palm print and said that the surface of the ledge was not a good surface to take fingerprints from and that the likelihood of such evidence being admissible in court was slim. I think if I recall correctly they also said that palm prints are not taken for criminal records, only fingerprints are taken for arrested individuals.

Fast forward to my return from Arizona on Sept 17. On Sept 18, there was another burglary in my building. Scary as shit and everyone is on the edge.

Workshop/Screening in Phoenix and Amazing Sedona

2009-09-19T01:09:00.020-04:00

I got some good news yesterday. Michael Isip, Vice Pres of TV Content, KQED, the public TV network in San Francisco, said he really liked our most recent 61 min rough cut. His high opinion of our cut makes it much more likely that our final cut will be broadcast on PBS.

Sept 10 - I gave the first workshop "Deconstructing the Asian American Model Minority Myth" with Hyung Chol Yoo, PhD, a professor of psychology of Arizona State University at the 2009 National Assoc. of Rights Protection and Advocacy annual conference at the Pointe Hilton Squaw Peak (an amazingly beautiful hotel). For more info, you can read my blog about this workshop. But I'm not done writing about it yet:(http://www.amongourkin.org/2009/09/deconstructing-model-minority-myth.html)

As always, I meet some of the most interesting people at these conferences like Ron Bassman (ronaldbassman.com). A psychologist, he was once told that he was a chronic schizophrenic with little hope of recovery and would have to be on medications for the rest of his life. At one point, he was in insulin-induced coma, administered electroconvulsive therapy (shock therapy) and a host of other "treatments" which ultimately harmed him in many ways. Institutionalization and forced treatment were common practices in the 1960's for people with mental illnesses. People with mental illnesses were viewed as having no rights. He defied all norms by becoming a PhD. recovering from an "incurable" mental illness and recently wrote a book "A Fight to Be." I highly recommend that you check his website: ronaldbassman.com out.

This Pointe Hilton Hotel was absolutely gorgeous with a water park, consisting of 8 pools. I tubed down this "river pool" and went slithering down this very long water slide 3x. I think I was the only person over the age of 12 having so much fun. (It's 105 degrees in Phoenix so you need to swim)

Sept 10 - The screening of my 61 min rough cut at the Arizona Public Health Assoc. Conference went ok. I thought it was charming that they served popcorn during the film. The turnouts were far lower than expected, but we got good film evaluations at the public health conference. Less than half of the number of people expected attended the conference. The recession apparently has affected travel budgets for public health administrations. Even less than that number attended my screening.

The audience was mostly MDs, PhDs, MPHs, nurses and other health service providers. I thought they as medical professionals would have negative comments about some of the anti-psychotropic medication opinions expressed by consumers in my film, but none of them mentioned that in their written evaluations. A few said that the film was powerful and amazing. Two women stayed after the screening and talked to me in depth about the social importance of the film. One Native American woman said that she, too, could relate to the experience of trying to bridge the intergenerational cultural gap between Can and his traditional parents.
She said that many young Native Americans have conflicts with their more traditional parents. She said the film was powerful in rendering that situation. Her comment made me think how such human experiences resonate universally, no matter how culturally-specific we may think they are. A medical doctor told me he learned a lot and the film gave him insight into his ex-girlfriend who was from Taiwan. He made no mention of the medical stuff.

We also got a few negative responses, which was expected. 2 people said the film wasn't enjoyable, but educational. Some said it was a little disjointed, but I already knew that. But overall, I received much better
responses than I had expected.

Ellen Owens-Summo, the Vice Pres of the Arizona Public Health Association, said she felt frustrated throughout the film b/c she felt like Can's identity was like fused with his mental illness. She didn't feel like he was moving forward. I told her she was witnessing the reality of the situation. Can sometimes does over-identify with his mental disorder and talks about it incessantly. Though he has gotten better lately. One of his friends sometimes jokingly refers to him as Mr. Bipolar. He is stuck in certain ways. In a way, her comment was a compliment b/c it meant that we were accurately portraying reality as uncomfortable as that was. But this was clearly a struggle that I as a director have had to deal with over and over again. Showing Can's repetitiveness makes him less likable, but it is in actuality how he behaves. Should I make a deliberate effort to make him more likable with less regard for accuracy? Yes, some producers/directors would say. No, is what I have been saying. But I am open to making him more likeable without detracting from the overall integrity of the reality.

I was so glad that the screening was over. Because of my home burglary on Aug 11, I lost 2 wks of editing time and felt so inadequate presenting the cut as it was. I was actually glad that the audience size was smaller than expected because the cut wasn't where it should have been. I was running on pure adrenaline for the last 2 days before leaving for Phoenix and I had gotten only an hour of sleep the night before I flew out of NJ. I was so relieved.

Sept 11 - The day after my screening, I attended the conference as a participant and learned so much about American public health issues, like how social determinants affect health and longevity. Cheryl Easley, President of the American Public Health Assoc. gave an inspiring speech about human rights and health disparities. Native Americans have an average lifespan far below the American average. People with serious and chronic mental illnesses live 25 years less than the average American for a multitude of reasons related to side effects of medications and other
social and economic factors.

I also attended this workshop about obstetric care for Somali refugees in Phoenix. And I was really impressed with the extent to which this obstetrican/gynecologist went to in order provide culturally and linguistically appropriate care to these refugees who fled their homelands because of the civil war there. The clinic was highly successful. The only question I had going through my mind was how is it that these Somalis are able to receive culturally competent medical care after only being here for a few years? Asian Americans have been in this country for 4 centuries and yet many Asian Americans do not receive culturally and linguistically competent medical care. Is it the model minority myth that makes people think that Asian Americans do not need culturally competent mental health care? Maybe probably?

Do you know that one's race to some extent is a reliable predictor of lifespan and health outcomes? Income and socioeconomic status often affect diet, levels of stress and exercise habits. All these factors affect our health choices. Did you know that most immigrants, even those from developing countries, are healthier than most average Americans upon arrival? But as soon as they start assimilating to the American lifestyle, their health goes downhill. It's a conundrum. Check out this
documentary clip: http://www.unnaturalcauses.org/video_clips.php

SEPT 12- AMAZING SEDONA
redrockcountry.org

I went to Sedona to do research on Navajo and Hopi languages and cultures for my next film about the linguistic history of the U.S. Unbeknownst to most Americans, this land was once the home of thousands of Native American languages, many of which are now extinct or are in danger of extinction today. Franz Boas, the father of anthropology, could not even begin to categorize all of them due to vast numbers and variations of languages and dialects. Modern day America is the most monolingual this land has ever been. I think this is such a fascinating statement, given the current legal, social and cultural debates surrounding the use of English and Spanish. Many Americans are debating whether they want to live in a bilingual society, much less a land where thousands of languages are spoken. As a Korean American, I've heard so many racist comments leveled at recent immigrants who do not speak English well as if all Americans "should" speak English. This "should" is culturally induced and certainly not a prerequisite for American Citizenship. In fact, Citizenship tests are frequently given in many languages because of Title VI of the U.S. Civil Rights Act, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of national origin. (My grandmother when she was 82 took her test in Korean and proudly scored a 96% on her exam, much to our surprise.) There is a misconception that America is supposed to be a English monolingual society, when, in fact, our ancestors and forefathers were multi-lingual. Not to mention the fact that the first Amendment of the Bill of Rights explicitly prohibits government from interfering freedom of speech rights. It has been my personal mission as an American to correct these kinds of social wrongs from happening. The film will map out the historical and prehistorical linguistic landscape of the U.S. beginning with the tongues of the Native Americans, most of whose languages did not have a written form.

I did not make it up into Navajo and Hopi reservations in Northern Arizona. I just didn't have the time and money, though I certainly did have the will. I spoke with many of the Navajo vendors who sold their jewelry and arts by the roadside at the local Dairy Queen on one of the main arteries through town. Through some of these women, I learned a bit about the culture and where the main reservations were. It seemed to help that I was Korean and was able to relate to some of their cultural dilemmas about assimilation and language. Many Native Americans have diabetes and other serious and chronic health issues.

I camped out in a tent in Sedona for 4 days, much to my own amazement. I thought I would be scared to camp alone, but after doing a little research, I discovered that I was by far safer camping alone in Sedona than living in my apartment in Jersey City. Sleeping under the stars and waking up at dawn hasn't really been a part of my lifestyle. I was going to sleep a few hours after sunset and getting up an hour after dawn, which is so contrary to my usual night owl routine.

I climbed Cathedral Rock, which is a gorgeous and amazing place to be. The views are mesmerizing and there is a spiritual and mystical quality about Sedona. I learned that there are vortexes in Sedona, which are some kind of energy fields. I had to go on all fours for latter part of the rock climb. It was a precariously dangerous 60 degree incline at a few points, where one slip could lead to death or serious injury -- at least a 40-50 foot fall. I paused, looked down and got too scared to climb further. At one point, I had given up and was ready to climb back down until 2 passerbyers cheered me on and told me not to give up. It was all a mental game. Once you begin to entertain the notion of falling, you can't go on but the minute you think you can, you can. And I made it up 3/4 of the way to the top, way past the point at which I thought I couldn't go on because it was too dangerous. What an amazing zen experience!
For some pictures of Cathedral Rock, click below:
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=cathedral+rock+sedona&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=Kku1SsPON9iD8Qb3t4S6Dg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=5

Unfortunately, I have absolutely no photos to share with you! The photos I took are all gone. Something is wrong with my brand new Polaroid camera. I came home and tried to download my photos from my camera, only to discover that there was absolutely nothing on my SD card or camera memory. Bizarre.

On my last day in Sedona, AZ, I went back to the vortex at Cathedral Rock and meditated. I also thanked God for the wonderful time and all the terrific people I had met on this glorious journey. I was truly blessed to have this time in Sedona on this journey... What a gift these past few days have been... Thank you God.

Many thanks to all of you who have helped me to make this cut, workshop, and screening possible by helping me with a hundred different details. Many thanks to the Mental Health Assoc. of California, Dianne Yamashiro-Omi of The California Endowment, and Nicholas Martin, editor. Thank you Pat Shea of NASMHPD for believing me and my project. Thank you Narges Maududi of NASMHPD for paying for my travel. Thank you Dr. Hyung Chol Yoo of ASU and Minh Ta. Thank you to my family and friends: Karen Glasser, Ben Park, Jackie Hu, Linda Hattendorf, Bill Lichtenstein, all those who attended my NYWIFT screening (Nuria and Chris), Ellen Owens-Summo, Jennifer Bonnet of the AZ PHA, Bill Stewart and Ann Marshall of NARPA. My super fantastic neighbors/friends: Eleanor Kaufman, Rich Greenstein and Ben Bartholomew.

Deconstructing the Model Minority Myth - Workshop at National Association of Rights Protection and Advocacy (NARPA)

2009-09-06T14:36:00.018-04:00

The perception of Asian Americans as model minorities who are academically and economically successful with few social problems has done a great disservice to Asian Americans, in general, and a grave injustice to Asian Americans who experience mental health issues, in particular. Among all the ethnic groups in the U.S., Asian Americans with mental illnesses are least likely to find culturally and linguistically competent services in part because of this public perception. This notion of Asian Americans being diligent, industrious and capable of overcoming the many social and economic obstacles to the American dream has, inadvertently, been used to deny Asian Americans equitable access to social services. To further compound the issue of inequitable access to mental health services, many Asian Americans with mental illness are not revealing their psychological needs, requesting services, or stepping up to assert their rights under the law. This is the model minority myth, which basically reinforces the capitalistic ideology that America is a meritocracy, where a strong work ethic will be rewarded with financial wealth. Conservatives use the Asian American model minority myth to disparage other racial groups for "not making it" without looking at the underlying sociological complexities that tell the real story. The fact is the Asian American under-earn in comparison to their White counterparts when comparing educational background and years of experience in the same jobs. Asian Americans have historically over-invested in education in order to offset the effects of discrimination. Many believing that attaining advanced degrees from prestigious schools are the only means to achieving financial and career success.

The term Asian American assumes a certain level of homogeneity even when none exists. How federal govt defines Asian American as people having origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East, Southeast Asia, or the Indian subcontinent. Asian groups are not limited to nationalities but include ethnic terms as well, such as Hmong.
Heterogeneity of this group - 43 distinct ethnic groups, more than 100 languages, and multi-religious, including but not limited to Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam.
50-70% are foreign-born and speak a language other than English at home. Approximately 40% of the Asian American population immigrated to the U.S. between 1990-2000.

The truth is that this group of people labeled "Asian Americans" really does not exist as a homogenous group of people, but are a highly diverse, multi-religious, group of 43 different ethnicities and more than 100 languages. Despite this inordinate diversity, Asian Americans, like other non-European populations, were racialized, perceived and treated in particular ways because of their race. The 2000 Census showed that the largest 5 Asian American groups are Chinese, Phillipino, Vietnamese, Korean and Asian Indian.

Here's an excellent article written by Hyung Chol (Brandon) Yoo, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, with whom I will be presenting with at NARPA:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/unraveling-minority-myth-asian-students/

Here is my outline of Workshop at the 2009 National Association of Rights Protection and Advocacy (http://www.narpa.org/) in Phoenix, AZ on Sept 10.

Introduction and brief summary - Pearl [3 min}
When I first started this film project, it was with the intention of helping to break the silence about mental illness within Asian American communities and to contribute to the broader public discourse about mental health and cultural competency. I soon came to realize that many people in mainstream mental health organizations did not perceive as Asian Americans as having social problems and made little to no outreach efforts to Asian Americans. Even the most educated among them had internalized stereotypes about Asian Americans in their minds, coloring their perceptions of Asian Americans. I realized that even before the issue of cultural competency could be dealt with that the myth of the model minority first had to be dispelled. Many Asian Americans do not want to acknowledge that they have mental health issues in their communities and families. The denial and shame has made Asian Americans, the least to seek mental health services among all the ethnic groups in the U.S. The model minority myth actually helps to obscure the truth and reinforces the denial.
We are fortunate to have Dr. Hyung Chol Yoo, Associate Professor of Psychology of Arizona State Univ. and scholar. One of his specialties is the model minority myth. But first I'd like to show the first 20 minutes of a documentary film in progress, Can. Some of you may know Can Truong, who is a board member of NARPA.

VIDEO – Clip from documentary film “Can” [20 min]
Defining Asian America - [Pearl] [3 min]
What AA means in conversation - Most people think of people of East Asian ancestry such as Chinese, Korean and Japanese, when the term "Asian American" is used. But for the purposes of this workshop, we will be using the term to refer to
How federal govt defines AA -Asian refers to people having origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East, Southeast Asia, or the Indian subcontinent. Asian groups are not limited to nationalities but include ethnic terms as well, such as Hmong.
Heterogeneity of this group - 43 distinct ethnic groups, more than 100 languages, and multi-religious, including but not limited to Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam.
50-70% are foreign-born and speak a language other than English at home. Approximately 40% of the Asian American population immigrated to the U.S. between 1990-2000.
III. Describe Historical, sociopolitcal context and clearer definition of the model minority myth [Brandon--12 minutes]
Definition of racism - Media images that reinforces AAMMM
Not a stereotype, but a construct that reinforces the power structure
History/Sociopolitical Background
Defining Model Minority Myth and components.
VIDEO - Experts describing Model Minority Myth within the context of mental health - [10 mins]

Deconstructing the model minority myth [Brandon--10 minutes]
Ethnic Heterogeneity
Selective Immigration
Context Dependency

Implications of the MMM [Brandon--10 minutes]
Interracial tension
glass ceiling
psychological distress
Asian American women and suicide
mental health service use
silence and invisibility [Pearl] [5 mins]
lack of cultural competency care
Lack of understanding mental health experience/needs
Lack of media images of AA with mental health issues. Media images of AAs most typically reinforce cultural myths and stereotypesMany major mental health organizations are not conducting outreach to Asian Americans and currently, there exists no national Asian American grassroots groups that are dealing with mental health issues. Asian American women between the ages of 15-24 have among the highest suicide rates in the nation, with only Native American women leading the rates.

The Real Costs of Not Having Universal Health Care

2009-07-27T23:33:00.020-04:00

Have you read the news lately? There was a mother who killed her child and then herself in Sugar Land, TX. Another woman in San Antonio, TX decapitated her newborn son and ate his body parts. Both had a serious and untreated mental illness. The Sugarland, TX woman had bipolar disorder and the San Antonio, TX woman has schizophrenia and postpartum psychosis. Both fell through the cracks in our for-profit health system.

I hate to pick on Texas, because this is a national problem. According to the Bazelton Mental Health Law Center, in 2006, the US Department of Justice found that 43% of jail inmates and 32% of prison inmates had symptoms of mental illness. Only about 23% of them had been treated in the year before their arrest. Recidivism rates were high: 64% of released inmates with mental illnesses were rearrested and 48% were hospitalized after 18 months. It is estimated as many as 80% of those on death row have a serious and chronic untreated mental illness. Many people with mental illnesses unwittingly wind up as victims or perpetrators of crimes. They often do not receive the quality health care they deserve that may make the difference between leading a productive life and landing in a cell. All too often, our for-profit health care system often dispenses care in accordance with a person’s ability to pay rather than in the best interests of that person’s health.

Otty Sanchez the San Antonio, TX woman was released 9 days earlier from a hospital that deemed her not a threat to herself or others. I have to seriously wonder whether the type of insurance she had was taken into consideration in her release, which frequently happens in psychiatric emergency rooms across the country. Many with chronic and severe illnesses like schizophrenia are customarily medicated and sent out the door, a phenomenon recognized as the revolving door syndrome for hospital. The conversations between the doctor and patient are centered around medications, rather than deeper life issues, which may reveal the patient's more intimate psychological state of mind. Certain insurance plans allows a certain number of inpatient hospital stays. Though I can't comment on the particulars of her case, it's not unusual for some hospital administrations to limit inpatient hospitalizations and paper process the uninsured out as soon as possible because of budget constraints on charity care. I don’t know what kind of insurance plan Ms. Sanchez had; nevertheless, Ms. Sanchez has full health care coverage now -- probably for life -- because she’s sitting in a San Antonio jail for killing and eating her 4-week old son. By law, inmates are entitled to completely free health care coverage using taxpayer dollars, but innocent people are not. It's ironic because quality psychological care just a week before could have prevented her from committing such a senseless and heinous crime. You might say that our system needs to be treated for its insanity all its own.

Republicans argue that the cost of an universal health care system is too costly and that the rich will have to bear more than their share. But we as a society already bear the costs of untreated mental illnesses in the form of dead bodies, tragically wasted lives, and millions of dollars into our very ineffective criminal justice system – ineffective because it does not mete out justice for those are suffering from a mental illness. Many convicts with mental illnesses are victims of their own symptoms; many people with chronic and serious mental illnesses become indigent as a result of not receiving care. As they become increasingly more needy of health care, they are less likely to be in a state of mind to be employable and to afford health insurance. I am convinced whatever costs we have to bear to implement a universal health care plan, we will save in the number of inmates we will not have to house. It costs something like $40-80,000/year to house inmates – to give 3 meals/day, recess, medical care, free college education and a roof over their head. I don't know the exact costs of prosecuting a crime are, but I imagine that, too, must cost a fortune in taxpayer dollars because a single court case generates work for judges, attorneys, police departments and clerks, not to mention the mountains of administrative paperwork -- all because someone didn't get that inpatient hospitalization that they should have. Do the math. Figuring that nearly a quarter of our prison and jail population probably would not end up there if they had access to quality mental health care, medical expenses which would likely cost a lot less than $40,000/year, it would be more cost effective to implement an universal health care system, a system that serves based on need rather than the ability to pay, than to prosecute people who commit crimes as a result of suffering from a treatable medical condition.

Mind you, the majority of people with mental illness are not violent, but due to the decompensation that happens when the person does not have treatment, by treatment I mean people who care and see that person gets their needs met, he or she experiences a downward spiral that often debilitates that person’s ability to manage daily life. That’s what a universal health care system would, theoretically do – provide quality treatment in the best interests of a person’s health regardless of their ability to pay and meaningful preventive early intervention – way before the illness becomes a disability and way before the person loses their job, their family, their financial security and their last thread of hope.

While mental illness can disable, it does not have to be debilitating. Many people with mental illnesses lead highly productive,and in general successful lives. However, there are some with psychiatric disabilities who rely on Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) to live on. It is a safety net for people with disabilities and includes Medicaid coverage; however, of these, many who recover from their disability and can work choose to continue to collect SSDI because they cannot afford to lose their health insurance benefits. People with psychiatric disabilities, in particular, frequently have expensive medications and other benefits, that would not necessarily be a part of a private group insurance plan. I’m convinced that many people on SSDI who would like to work would go off Disability Insurance the minute that health care coverage becomes an universal reality. The subject of my documentary film (www.amongourkin.org) has been on disability since 1996 and is deeply ashamed of being on Social Security Disability Insurance though he feels that he should not feel ashamed because SSDI is a safety net designed to help people with disabilities. They often feel ashamed, which actually compounds their pre-existing emotional issues of inadequacy, that they have to be dependent on the government to survive and that they cannot stand on their own two feet. People on SSDI can earn up to about $1,000/ month without losing their disability benefits, which allows them to work part-time. But because health care costs a fortune and most private group health insurance plans do not have as much coverage as Medicaid or Medicare, they sadly cannot afford get off of SSDI even when they desperately want to.

They say that Social Security will be bankrupt by the time Baby Boomers retire. Would it be bankrupt if millions of these people with disabilities who want to work could actually work without losing their health care benefits? I wonder how many of these people would make the choice to join the workforce when universal health care becomes a reality. Considering that there are 50 million people with disabilities on the U.S., and many of them on SSDI, can you imagine the millions of dollars we could save by providing universal coverage?

Basically, our system inadvertently rewards criminal behavior and people with disabilities who are not working with free health care coverage. Is it me or the system who’s crazy? I think innocent people, by law, should have access to quality health care that is about their health and caring. Prevention is always cheaper than treatment. Quality medical care should always include healing modalities that aren't about pharmaceutical drugs, but about managing stress, which helps to keep mental health issues abay. Every person deals with stress in their daily life; this is about the human condition and the vulnerability that accompanies living. Good health care gives people life coping skills and an opportunity to regain their dignity after losing their judgment and community connections due to their illness. I don’t think people should have to commit a crime or claim disability in order to see a doctor and get their medical needs met. Give people with disabilities the right to work with losing their health benefits. Work contributes to their dignity. Universal health care coverage would ultimately cut costs for many federal, state and local social service programs and eventually reduce crime by at least 25%.

Rough Cut Screening NYWIFT

2009-06-19T00:57:00.004-04:00

I watched the audience watch the film and no one appeared bored or looked around. I can honestly say that it seems that the film held their attention until the very end. I was really upset going into the screening because I could not output my latest cut to DVD and I had to actually show an earlier cut that Linda and I worked on in March.
I am not exactly sure how it went. I would say that most people thought it should be a feature length film. I could not assess exactly to what degree Can's story held their interest. A few said that it was powerful and gripping. Alison, the moderator, has a particular way of holding the post-screening discussion. I, the filmmaker, was not allowed to talk or ask questions until the end, by which time I had forgotten all the questions that ran through my head during the discussion. I am still not sure how many liked the film.

There was some consensus about too much Can talking, and not enough verite. Mixed reviews on the experts again; mixed reviews on many things. Some of this was rather predictable. Casper said that there were two films in this film, one about Can's journey and the other about Asian American mental health. I think I sort of agree because the latter film is what I had initially started out making.

One woman who didn't seem to like the film said that she wanted Can to try to get a job or try to date. She got the sense that he didn't take risks and did more talking than doing. Getting verite footage with Can was next to impossible at times because he would often talk directly to the camera as if it was a person. And sometimes when I would be shooting good verite footage, he or members of his family would tell me that I was shooting nothing. Aagh the frustrations of shooting. Because of many of these factors, I kept shooting for 3 and a half years and still felt that I didn't get the deeper truths. I do know one thing and that is that no one can be a fly on the wall. The Hawthorne effect, a psychological phenomenon, is how people behave differently and more self-consciously when they know they are being watched. So no action in front of the camera is pure.

When You Cannot Speak About the Thing That Most Pains You

2009-04-21T04:00:00.014-04:00

I visited my grandfather's grave recently for the first time since his death in 2001. One of the reasons I (and my siblings) had a such a hard time visiting him was because of the pain I feel when I recall how he had to live the last 10-15 years of his life and when I recall the way my family dealt with his mental illness. They didn't deal with it; they rarely talked or acknowledged the fact that my step grandfather was "crazy" and had fixed delusions about the CIA spying on him. The blanket of denial and shame enveloped our family. There was never an intimate moment at the dinner table where we had permission to talk about it. The code of silence seemed to be unconditionally reinforced. The shroud of enial and shame was palpable and omnipresent. It is also in remembering that I was not there to help and support him in his illness. After my grandmother divorced him, she left him with a little money, but without a caretaker. With the severity of his psychosis, he was not unable to take care of himself. Because neither my grandmother or mother did not care to educate themselves about mental illness, they knew little about his condition in medical terms and basically abandoned him. I found their actions to be unconscionable, but they did not feel any guilt just leaving him to fend for himself. No wonder just a few years after my grandmother and he split (after 22 years of cohabitation and marriage), my grandfather ended up in a public home for the mentally ill in Richmond, VA.
As I work relentlessly on this film without pay, I sometimes find myself wondering why I am willing to endure the many sleepless nights and long 14-hour days. I realize that a part of my tolerance of this lifestyle is because I am determined to process all the emotions I withheld as well as produce this film. The research, pre-production, meeting all these mental health professionals from all over the country, speaking to Asian Americans with mental illnesses and hearing their stories and speaking about my personal experiences as a family member of a consumer have been paving my healing path. Finally after 30 some years of not acknowledging that I had a family member with a mental illness, I have permission to talk about it. These opportunities to speak to Asian Americans with mental illnesses and their family members are unprecedented for me. I wanted to know how their families dealt with this pain. Empathy is a healer and I had longed for those emotional connections to other Asian Americans who had experienced the silent suffering and the kind of spiritual paralysis that comes from denying portions of your daily reality. I needed the validation from other souls who lived in the same culture that I did; Euro-Americans could not understand the underbelly of mental illness as it is exists in Korean culture. I realize that though on the surface, it seems that I am doing this film for humanitarian reasons, which is true, but I am also doing this film for my own process. I went through most of my life, not being able to talk about the issue that most pained me in my early childhood and most of my adulthood.

While my friends and colleagues might talk about cancer and heart disease among their family members, I was not allowed to speak about a close relative's chronic and serious ordeal with chronic paranoid schizophrenia. How do you go about distilling grief into something that might benefit society? Art.

New 56-min Rough Cut in Progress

2009-03-27T02:55:00.013-04:00

I've been editing for the past week with Linda Hattendorf, the producer/director/editor of The Cats of Mirikitani (thecatsofmirikitani.com). She has put together a nearly hour long rough cut for submission to our next grant submission for post production funding. She has been terrific, working long hours in order to meet our deadline of April 1. The Cats of Mirikitani won numerous awards in the festival circuit, The Audience Award at Tribeca. I was very touched by her film when I first saw it at the Cinema Village in NYC a few years ago. So naturally when a friend of a friend recommended her to me as an editor, I seized the opportunity. (Though initially I had searched for a Vietnamese/English bilingual editor, I was not able to find someone in NYC with experience I needed.) The film was one of the most heartwarming stories that I have seen in years and has the power to soften the most cynical of souls. It's like a non-pharmaceutical anti-depressant, sure to lift one's spirit. The story of how they bond and how Jimmy reconciles parts of his traumatic past are poignant.

After much discussion, research, restructuring and contemplation, we are putting together a rough cut at least 56 mins long. She seems to think that the film may work as a feature film and has said that the film is very important in showing how Asian American families deal with mental illness. It is so good to have her as an ally and advocate. Now a few director of an Asian American Institute has expressed an interest in sponsoring a talk or screening because Linda has told them about the film. I am so fortunate to have her working by my side this week and so happy to have met her. Because my film also touches upon the Consumer Movement which, to my knowledge, has not been shown previously in documentary films, it may be a first for PBS. And now I am in the process of scheduling a rough cut screening through New York Women in Film and Television, a professional association of women. The viewers will all be professional film people whose judgment will tell me whether it should be a short or feature.

Like so many other indy filmmakers, I also have mounting debts and no income-generating work. Luckily for me, I have had many successful and profitable years working as an artist and have marketable skills that will enable me to sustain myself once this project is over. The only thing I want more than money is sleep right now, but I am too wired after spending a day looking at footage and combing through nearly 600 pages of transcripts for clips to put into my cut. It's been a difficult day. I learned that Can is finally returning home to Dayton, OH for a week after a year away from his family. Can has been living in Stockbridge, MA serving as a personal care assistant for his friend, John Aldam, who is disabled from his spinal tumor. So now on top of writing the grant due April 1, I also have to do pre production for the shoot in April 6, for which I have no money. Oh there is so much to do without the funding to do it all. To be continued... in my next post.

History of the Consumer Movement

2009-03-16T17:02:00.005-04:00

Can, the subject of my documentary, has been active in the consumer movement, which is something I was not familiar with until I started shooting this film. He is among the very few Asian Americans are involved in this flourishing social and political effort started by former psychiatric patients whose experiences with the mental health system were less than favorable. There is a growing National Network of Consumer/Survivor groups. Some of them are the National Empowerment Center (http://www.power2u.org). Though there is stigma in the Euro-American community, there tens of thousands of Caucasian American consumers who are open about their psychiatric histories and experiences as mental patients. In contrast, there are probably about less than 10 Asian Americans out of about 7 million Asian Americans who are active in the consumer movement, a disproportionately low number. Because the lifetime prevalence rate of mental illness which is 47% in the general population is the same among Asian Americans, approximately half of the 14 million Asian Americans has, had or will have a mental illness in their lifetime. This is one area that Asian Americans are grossly underrepresented and underserved. The low numbers of Asian Americans utilizing mental health services and appearing in patient populations reinforce the model minority myth that Asian Americans are usually socio-economically mobile and do not have mental illnesses, which we know to be false.

Because of the lack of Asian American mental health advocates who are engaged in policy-making efforts, there are a lack of state and federal resources going to services for Asian Americans. In many states and in our Federal government, mental health policies are shaped and formed with input from consumers as well as professionals.

From the website of the National Coalition of Mental Health Consumer Survivor Organizations (nsmhcso.org): "NCMHCSO was built on the foundation laid by the courageous work of those who started the mental health consumer/survivor movement in the early 1970’s. Those early
leaders were people with diagnoses of mental illness, who were inspired by people who
were finding strength, courage and power by joining together to work for human and civil
rights."

Below is an excerpt from Wikipedia about the consumer movement:

There is a growing movement throughout the United States (and the world) of people calling themselves consumers, survivors, or ex-patients--who have been diagnosed with mental disorders and are working together to make change in the mental health system and in society. The consumer movement grew out of the idea that individuals who have experienced similar problems, life situations, or crises can effectively provide support to one another. According Sally Clay, one of the leaders of this movement, The Consumer/Survivor Communities began 25 years ago with the anti-psychiatry movement. In the 1980's, ex-mental patients began to organize drop-in centers, artistic endeavors, and businesses. Now hundreds of such groups are flourishing throughout the country. Our conferences (many sponsored by NIMH) have been attended by thousands of people. More and more, consumers participate in the rest of the mental health system as members of policy-making boards and agencies. When it began, there was an initial hostility toward the mental health system, but the consumer movement has evolved into a recovery model that encompasses everyone involved in caring for people with mental disorders.
From around the country, people who had been in treatment for schizophrenia and other forms of serious mental illness began coming out of the shadows and identifying ourselves. We were no longer willing to remain hiding, quietly suffering the ridicule and hostility that too often characterize people's reactions to serious mental illness. Slowly, we began to organize, forming local, state, and then national organizations for recovering persons and our allies. We advocated, trying to regain our rights as human beings. For the most part, the more articulate consumer-advocates felt that professionals, who so readily dismissed our point-of-view when we had been patients, were not to be trusted. Many of us felt we could make it "on our own." And why not? All of us had been diagnosed with having serious mental illnesses...About twelve years ago, however, some consumer-advocates began to suggest that many of us, particularly those who were most disabled, could not so easily make it "on our own."We suggested that most of us did indeed need other people: family members, friends, and often the help of experienced mental health professionals.Frederick J. Frese The importance of the consumer movement has been recognized and documented by mainstream mental health, such as in the Surgeon General's Report.

Vietnamese Man Uses Hands to Administer Energy Healing

2009-03-12T16:06:00.005-04:00

Many traditional healing arts are remarkably effective. Though the US often boosts of its technological advances in medicine, our country lacks research into healing folk arts which have been around for millenia. As a Korean American, I know that the folk healers have a special touch of groundedness that professional doctors of Western medicine do not. I know that faith in one's healer has much to do with the health outcomes. Trust and love can be healing in of themselves. Anyways, Can who has been doing some energy healing with his hands passed on this article to me.

Vietnamese Man Uses Hands to Administer Energy Healing.

URL: http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-8408987_ITM

COPYRIGHT 2001 San Jose Mercury News

Byline: Elsa C. Arnett

HANOI _ He isn't listed in any doctors' directory.

But hundreds of people will attest to his remarkable healing powers.

Dung Tran uses only one medical tool: his hands. The fingers are bony, the skin at the knuckles have wizened, the fingertips are stained a faint copper from years of potent Singapore cigarettes. Overall, they seem pretty ordinary for a 75-year-old.

Until you touch them. Tran's hands are toasty, almost bordering on hot, as if he just lifted them from the sides of a steaming bowl of noodle soup.

Tran uses his hands, and their heat, to administer an ancient form of Asian medicine known in Vietnam as nhan dien, or ''energy healing.''

For centuries, folk remedies such as energy healing, crushed tiger bone and extracted bear bile were all that Vietnamese people had to treat ailments from a sore back to a stroke. Not any longer. These days, Western medicine abounds in Vietnam. Hospitals have high-tech diagnostic devices; pharmacy shelves are stocked with drugs from the United States, France and Germany.

Yet many Vietnamese still cling to the familiar. They continue to rub a pungent homespun alcohol on an arthritic back. They continue to stroke a coin vigorously into their skin to ease a bad cold. They continue to make a bitter, black brew from dried plants to settle an upset stomach.

They continue to line up at Tran's doorstep so his fingertips can try to soothe their ulcers, slow their cancers and quell their seizures.

For many Vietnamese, a cure lies not in a pre-processed tablet, but from the harmony between their bodies, their minds and the natural world. For them, the latest advances in modern medicine cannot compete with the time-tested remedies passed down over several thousand years.

''Nature influences many things that go on in us,'' said Tran, who spent most of his life as a philosophy and foreign language professor in Hanoi. ''People get migraines during thunderstorms, people feel energetic in sunlight. It only makes sense that if nature can harm us, it can also help us.''

Energy healing hails from China and India as far back as 4,000 years and is practiced by millions of people throughout Asia. The theory requires one person _ Tran, for example _ to become a giant heat magnet and absorb energy from nature and transfer it to another person.

In Asian medicine, the human body is all about balance and the smooth flow of energy through the veins and organs. The infusion of added energy from healer to patient is supposed to open whatever clog has developed to block that smooth flow, restoring equilibrium.

In the United States, energy healing is one of the many alternative therapies that are only grudgingly gaining the respect of mainstream medicine. American researchers are working on experiments to figure out why energy healing, herbs, deep breathing and even laughter seem to boost people's health.

Until they find a scientific explanation, many of these therapies remain on the fringes. Health insurance companies won't cover them. People who seek them do so at their own risk, and expense.

''The medical community is still keeping alternative medicine at arms length,'' said Dr. John Wahdud Laird, director of the Jaffe Institute of Spiritual and Medical Healing, an energy healing school in California's Napa Valley. ''But there is a much more open attitude towards these things than there was five or 10 years ago.''

Immigrants have helped to popularize energy healing in the Bay Area, where it has become a fixture in the world of alternative medicine.

It's hard to know how many in Vietnam rely on energy healing. The Vietnamese government does not keep track of healers like Tran; it wouldn't be easy even if they tried. Most of these healers take classes from various healing masters, but they aren't certified. Most work out of their living rooms. Most are as mysterious as the healing they practice.

Tran doesn't advertise. He doesn't charge, either. His skills, he says, were given to him by God. Comfortably retired, he would not sully them by taking money.

Many who arrive at Tran's doorstep come after everything else has failed. They hear about him by word-of-mouth: so-and-so's mother who knows so-and-so's brother went to Tran and was cured, they say. Next thing, Tran has a new patient.

That's how Phuong Nguyen found himself cross-legged on Tran's lacquered wood coffee table that fills one-third of Tran's living room.

Nguyen, 29, was studying design in Montreal. At the start of his second year of classes, he began to feel anxious, restless, sweaty. He stared at the ceiling of his dorm room and couldn't fall asleep.

First, Nguyen went to the clinics at his university, then to specialists. They came up with nothing. They did blood test after blood test. Nothing. They gave him tranquilizers. Still, nothing.

Nguyen became so exhausted, he had to withdraw from school and return to Hanoi. There, he went to an acupuncturist, then to an herbalist. Nothing helped. Desperate, Nguyen took his father's advice and visited Tran.

That first day, he was led through a small, leafy, courtyard and into Tran's living room. Tran told him to slip off his shoes and sit on the table. Nguyen was told to close his eyes, relax his body, and try to clear his mind of thoughts and worries.

Then, Tran stepped up on the table, rubbed his hands together, and maneuvered around Nguyen, pressing his index fingers into various pulse points of Nguyen's temples, cheeks, neck, spine and chest. Then he moved on to his legs, ankles and toes.

Both Nguyen and Tran's minds were deep in concentration. Only the echo of schoolgirls chattering outside or the bang of a hammer from three houses down broke the silence.

About 45 minutes later, Tran was done. At first, Nguyen didn't notice anything. But after visiting Tran for three days, Nguyen fell asleep that night for the first time in months for a solid three hours. By the end of two weeks, he could sleep for six to eight hours. The sweating stopped. So did the jitters. Now, several months later, Nguyen is practicing on his own and is awaiting a visa to return to his studies in Montreal.

How did energy healing help him when nothing else could? Nguyen doesn't know. And he said, ''I don't need to know. I just know I feel so much better. I have my life back again.''

Tran, who has practiced energy healing for about a decade, realizes all this might sound suspicious. He doesn't take it personally. He was dubious, too, once.

He had heard bits and pieces about energy healing for years. But he didn't think much of it until he went to say goodbye to an old school friend who was diagnosed with a late-stage of cancer.

When Tran saw his friend, he saw that he looked remarkably fit, was still able to go out and eat and talk with friends, and ended up living for three years longer than doctors had predicted. The secret, the friend said, was energy healing.

Curious, Tran decided to study with the same teacher who had instructed his friend. Tran hoped it might ease the two ulcers, the erratic heart-beat, the dizzy spells, and the general fatigue that had troubled him all his life.

Three months into his lessons, his stomach felt better, and to his delight, he was well enough to drink beer again. A year later, his heartbeat returned to normal. He felt stronger than he did when he served in the military years ago.

Grateful for this gift, Tran decided to try to help others. Since then, his fingers have worked on hundreds of people. There's the 8-year-old boy with epilepsy, the 42-year-old woman with a bleeding ulcer, the 60-year-old woman with deteriorating eye sight, the 65-year-old woman with breast cancer, and his own wife who had almost lost all use of her left arm.

Tran said that all have improved. Did he, or more precisely, did energy healing make them better? He doesn't profess to be a miracle worker. Tran said he is simply helping people heal naturally, though he admits that there are always a few he cannot help.

Tran could talk a lot more about energy healing, but not today. There is a woman at his gate with her 10-year-old daughter. The little girl has had a sinus infection for two years. Medications haven't helped. Sometimes the pain is so bad she buries her tiny face in her hands. They stand waiting for Tran, their faces anxious and expectant.

Tran jumps up from his chair, rubs his hands together and prepares for the next challenge.

(c) 2001, San Jose Mercury News (San Jose, Calif.).

Visit Mercury Center, the World Wide Web site of the Mercury News, at http://www.sjmercury.com/

Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.

The Problem of Distribution for Asian American Films

2009-02-20T00:47:00.040-05:00

Even among the best independent films in America which get into Sundance each year, only about 5% receive distribution. The film distribution game is a difficult one, one that is particularly difficult for Asian American films, which are perceived to have a narrower audience than a white film in English. It is not at all surprising that there are not that many Asian American films that make in the mainstream. It's not encouraging for most Asian American filmmakers who often have to make great sacrifices to get their film made then have to struggle to find a distributor that will adequately promote and release it to the public.

The story has been that we are not bankable, we are not a viable market with only 4% of the viewership population. I recall watching "The Grace Lee Project," a well publicized theatrically-released film, with only 2 other people at the Film Forum on a Friday night when it played there for a few weekends several years ago. Though the storyline was about a woman named Grace Lee going around the country to find other Grace Lees -- superficial and insipid -- it was an extraordinarily well-edited documentary in that it kept me riveted until the very end though I had had no initial interest in the subject matter. Most good documentaries never see the light of a theatrical release. The only public play that they receive is at film festivals.

Documentaries, in general, are even less likely than indy features to make a profit so my little documentary with an Asian American lead is highly unlikely to pick up a distributor. So I often wonder what will happen to my little documentary when it hits the market. Will I find an educational market niche and change the world? Or will it become another indy film to never see the light of the day and find its way off the shelves? Luckily we live in the digital age and self-distribution is a more than plausible option.

The distribution problems for Asian American films are myriad. Once you subtitle a film, the market is reduced by 20% so say the film distributors in America. Many English-speaking Americans do not want to read subtitles or hear dubbed English while watching a film. It is no wonder that very few if any Asian American films have made it in the American marketplace. Though many of them are in English, there are many that have portions of it in an Asian language. There are layers of difficulties even producing a film in a language other than English in the U.S. because most skilled editors and production crew even in New York City are mostly English only speaking. Others are inclined to label “foreign language” films as foreign when they are made by and about Americans who speak languages other than English. Is a language foreign when a million or more Americans speak it? Such as Mandarin Chinese? Or Spanish? What constitutes foreign vs. domestic in the linguistics? Distributors are essentially business people with a concern for the bottom line, who are concerned with selling their product and attempting to reach as large of a consumer base as possible. A film with characters who speak English with an accent makes it less marketable, however good its artistic merits and human interest value may be. Good film distributors also have a concern for artistic merits in a film, but often commercial interests outweigh quality. You could have a badly written script, an implausible plot, lots of special effects, and a mediocre director, but if you find a celebrity to star it, it is a guarantee of a certain level of visibility and viewership. The film world ain’t no meritocracy.

As many of you may already know, Can Truong is a Vietnamese boat person, one of the millions who fled Vietnam in boats in search of freedom after the fall of Saigon. That fact led me to study the history of the Vietnamese boat people. Journey from the Fall, directed and written by Ham Tran, was one of the best indy films I have experienced in the past few years. I say “experienced” instead of “seen” because the film like many great works of art was an emotional experience for me. I was deeply moved, perhaps because I, too, am an immigrant and could relate to the experiences of the protagonists in certain ways that the average American could not. Though there are many white renditions of the Vietnam war and its aftermath in film, this is the first to authentically portray the experience of millions of Vietnamese who fled in overcrowded unwieldy boats, some enduring untenable levels of deprivation and suffering. It was an important untold story that needed to told by Vietnamese Americans for Vietnamese Americans. The film seemed to have catalyzed a mass catharsis in the Vietnamese community based on the few people I have spoken with. For many years, many Vietnamese boat people didn't want to speak about the horrors of the re-education camps, the pirates who raped women on the boats, and perilous journey across rough seas. Breaking the silence is the first step to healing. It was for this reason Ham was motivated to make this extraordinary film, he told me. They are my motivations for making "Can." Artistry and healing are delicately intertwined. The expression of truths facilitates healing.

Ham is an inspiration to me. He's a rock star. I am enamored with his work and artistic integrity. Despite a low budget and other numerous obstacles, he crafted an emotionally powerful story that remained true to the heart of the Vietnamese-American experience. In order to understand what I mean, you would have to see his beautiful film (www.journeyfromthefall.com) and check out some of his interviews on youtube.com:
>Ham Tran Interview by Asia Pacific Arts, Part 1 of 2
>Ham Tran Interview by Asia Pacific Arts, Part 2 of 2

And now Ham and a few other Vietnamese American filmmakers have started their own film distribution company, Wave Releasing, to promote and release their own works after realizing that most American distributors will overlook or undermarket their amazing films. Though Journey from the Fall was an extraordinary landmark achievement by any measure, it took nearly a year from the time that it premiered at Sundance to get a distributor. That is shocking to me considering the numerous other films of far lower quality which get distribution deals immediately upon its film festival premiere. Like I said, the film world is no meritocracy.

Changing "Can" to a Short Film

2009-02-19T00:08:00.017-05:00

I met with consultant today regarding fundraising for my film after getting a slew of rejection letters from foundations. It is daunting to keep writing grant applications, but this is the plight of many indy filmmakers. The consultant told me that he didn't think that my film would make it into film festivals in its current state because the film has too many expert interviews, which make it too educational instead of character-driven. The idea was to make it character-driven, but that idea also competed with the idea that the film had to educate about Asian American mental health to a certain extent because of the California Endowment grant.

I think I had it in my mind that I'd fix the problems once I began to edit and since I had been delayed so many times due to Can's relentless delays in getting home, I also had to delay making the fixes that I needed to to my most recent rough cut. So I guess I will be making a short. It may be more compelling and terser as a short.

I am sulking, but not as crazy as I expected to be. As long as there are lessons learned, nothing has been lost. This project was difficult from all angles and I knew that it was all a huge risk from the get go. I have to put my ego aside and put my social objectives first. I did succeed in raising a lot of awareness among key opinion leaders in mainstream mental health and that was an important feat to me. The model minority myth has always worked against Asian Americans with mental illnesses. The secondary myth is that you can't have a mental illness and be a model minority at the same time, but the truth is is that many successful, intelligent, productive people (e.g., Iris Chang, John Nash, Kay Redfield Jamison) do have mental illnesses. Success and mental illness are not mutually exclusive.

The hope is that these key opinion leaders will use the knowledge that they learned from our workshops and presentation in executing their jobs and gain the understanding that they need to specially train their therapists and staff to work with Asian Americans. Some of them do walk away with the understanding that they do not understand Asian American cultures and that acknowledgement of ignorance is equally as important as knowledge. Some therapists complete their clinical training without any knowledge of Asian Americans and do not understand that they may have the skills set to help counsel Asian Americans.

Embracing Dissent

2009-02-01T21:20:00.024-05:00

I have posted below an essay I wrote about dissent and how the policy of absolute tolerance can serve humanity. How is this relevant to my work as an activist and filmmaker? It can provide insights into how history consistently shows us an ever evolving truth. History can be rewritten. Science is fallible and what conventions activists may challenge today become relics tomorrow. What is radical today is considerable acceptable tomorrow.

It is based on the writings of classical utilitarian John Stuart Mill, one of my favorite dead white male philosophers.

Just a bit of history on the rights of people with mental illness, it was not until the late 1800's that people with mental illness were treated medically and that the etiology of mental illness was considered biological. Prior to that, people with schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders were often locked up and beaten. The prevailing explanatory model for mental illness during that historical period when religious beliefs dominated the culture was that these people were possessed with evil spirits and needed beatings and exorcisms, not medications or talk therapies. Just to give you some perspective on the history of the science and culture of mental illness, many psychiatric therapies such as insulin-induced comas and lobotomies which were endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association in the 1960's are today considered dangerous and barbaric. Psychiatry is less than 100 years old, one of the youngest branches of medicine. Psychiatrists don't really understand how Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors work, though they are widely prescribed to Americans daily. I raise these issues because many of today's practices may be perceived as dangerous tomorrow. Philosophically, I don't believe we can know the exact nature of truth today nor tomorrow.
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How Does Absolute Tolerance Serve the Permanent Progress Interests of Man?

"If mankind minus one were all of the same opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
-- John Stuart Mill, "On Liberty"

The atom is indivisible and all the moons and planets revolve around the earth; so man once believed, deceived by the wisest and most erudite of scholars of previous eras. Knowledge, or whatever man conceives to be true, is subject to change. The atom turned out to be so powerfully divisible that it demolished a couple of cities and killed more than a quarter million people. To the astonishment of the Catholic Church, the earth actually orbited the sun. Upon inquiry of the even most well-established and widely accepted beliefs, a new perspective can emerge. To be questioning every proven truth is to take the chance of living in the anxiety of uncertainty, or worse, losing faith in man's ego to attain knowledge. But in order to converge closer to the nature of reality, one must take this risk of contesting every belief or fact that man claims as truth.

In "On Liberty," John Stuart Mill asserts that we must allow for the absolute tolerance of all thought and discussion within the bounds of fair discussion in order to attain utility. By allowing the free exchange and expression of ideas, opinions, beliefs and perceptions, no matter what the content, society will benefit from this cultivation of diversity. Through dialectical debate, ideas, opinions, beliefs and perceptions will become refined and logically sound. Arguments which do not stand to reason will be discarded; partial truths elucidated, new compound ideas formulated. The policy of absolute tolerance will set the stage for a forum of ideas, competing to be deemed as the most sound claim. In the same way that competition in the marketplace for commodities provides the best quality goods and services for the most people possible, the most refined and logically sound ideas will become integrated into society by fierce rational competition under the policy of absolute tolerance.

Mill presents four very clear and convincing arguments for allowing the expression of every man's opinion in a given society. If the opinion is true, then a new concept is learned. If the opinion is false, the expression of that opinion can serve to test the soundness and rationale upon which a conflicting opinion rests. Only after withstanding the contests of a contrasting view, can an opinion attain a greater degree of certainty about its true nature and action based upon it able to be justified.

More often, than not is the case that a statement is neither wholly true or false, but contains a portion of truth which only stands a chance of elicitation by the dialectical examination of an opposing view. Thus the collision of such adverse forces, if guided by reason, will serve to elucidate a concealed truth or innovate a new eclectic concept.
Intellectual growth is fostered by the challenge of having to substantiate one's beliefs against another's; and impeded by ignoring the arguments of the devil's advocate. The beliefs most inherent to our society which are the least likely to be questioned are, perhaps, the most vitally in need of substantiation since the ways of our life are based upon them. Mill states that beliefs must be held in an appropriate way (i.e., one must be able to substantiate exactly why one's beliefs is true in spite of all the possible rational objections.). Individual members of society should not merely inherit the beliefs of their ancestors for the sake of practicality. One should have greater grounds upon which to hold a belief than the mere fact that the belief is held by everyone else in their society or that it was taught to him.

Only through the dialogue with another human being whose contrary perspective forces you to reasonably scrutinize those beliefs you take for granted, can the authenticity and logical soundness of that belief be appreciated. Until a christian encounters a muslim, he is never forced to realize the weaknesses of his claim. If the muslim vigorously attacks the various premises of christianity dialectically and the christian is able to refute reasonably but, yet, with emotional conviction, then his belief is being held in an appropriate way. On the other hand, if he retorts with the use of verbatim scriptural verse which have been engrained in him since birth and no genuine conviction, he is only a product of his environment, merely parroting what has been taught to him. His teachers may have truly believed in the words they taught him; however, the words ring semantically hollow in the ears of the his students and are memorized for the sake of approval. This stagnating mental state is the very condition which, Mill believes, is treacherous to the human mind and soul; and it is to reduce the unlimited human potential down to that of an automaton. Man cannot serve his permanent interests as a progressive being if he enslaved to the beliefs of society. He must exercise independent thinking and be able to make the distinction between what he genuinely believes and what has been fed to him intellectually. He must question until he has exhausted his resources in order for an answer with the greatest probability of being true to emerge. This is the necessity of the policy of absolute tolerance; man must be given the complete liberty to endeavor to discover the true nature of his convictions.

Mill's theory is logically sound and very well substantiated by his argumentations; however, in reality, complex political and sociological problems would obscure the objective of such a policy, utility, if it was actually put into effect. Mill believes that the free market economy model for commodities could be superimposed on ideas and thought as well. Unlike the principles of supply and demand in the free market for goods and services, political phenomenon in capitalistic countries inevitably allocates power and greater proclivity to a select few as a result of their inheritance, political ties, and/or financial status, not as a result of them being the most reasonably qualified. If man were as avaricious for reason as he is for money, then the analogous relationship between the free market economy for commodities and the free market economy for ideas and thoughts would be complete; however, as history clearly demonstrates that that is not the case. Reason is not the sole criterion for which a belief is translated into social policy or practice. In theoretical terms, Mill's argument is sound given that all things are equal; all political interest groups in a given state are equal; no man acquiesces to emotion and is solely rational and objective; the acquisition of knowledge is just as much a motivating force as money; all consumers of the ideas and thoughts on the market are competent and have no desire to impose their beliefs on other humans without reasonable grounds. These conditions can hardly ever be met in reality and therefore, the policy of absolute tolerance, if implemented, does not necessarily lead to utility however logically sound in theory. The policy of absolute tolerance is one many necessary conditions, but is not sufficient alone. The rights of African Americans, Native Americans, Chinese Americans, Japanese Americans have been oppressed throughout the course of American history regardless of the belief, supposedly held by the founders of this country, that all men were created equal. The white, property-owning politicans of these previous times professed great faith in the Constitution of the United States and were determined to execute it as it was written; nonetheless, history clearly shows the oppression of various minority groups, obvious violations of those very premises in Constitution which our great fathers professed to uphold in order to maintain their level of power. Had upholding reason and integrity been a greater priority over their desire for economic power, African Americans would never have been enslaved in the first place. Mill neglects to consider the human element. The select few do not necessarily have to heed the rationale of their opposing views.

Mill relies upon the existence of two opposing views in interplay to refine man's conception of truth. Whether one extreme school of thought will benefit society for utility is actually contingent upon the existence of an equally formidable and radical interest group with an opposing view which is just as determined to defend its claim. In the absence of such opposition, a very harmful ideology or thought could enter the mainstream of society. For instance, Nazism in Germany rose to power by unscrupulous means, virtually unopposed, in part because the ideology benefitted the Aryan majority by the oppression and slaughter of a minority class. there would have had to have been a B'nai B'rith Anti-defamation League with armed forces, equally as aggressively and unscrupulously propagandizing their ideology. Should we tolerate the blatant evil of bigotry in hopes that it would collide with an anthetical force even when none such exists? How does that serve society? In other words, the existence of White Supremists should be tolerated and will eventually serve the greater good of society as long as African, Asian, Latino and Native American Supremists with as much power exist alongside them. The end result of such an ideological struggle will be human people respecting the creed and color of every human being which is man's natural right. Mill did not believe in natural rights. In order for the free market economy model to operate, there must always be competition; for every man who claims that something is green, there must be another who claims that it is blue in order for it to benefit society. In the commodity market, money is the incentive to produce higher and higher quality goods; in the thought market, reason and intellectual growth is the only appeal to conjuring up more and more reasonable ideas. In capitalistic society, it is in man's own self-interest to conjure up a belief system which will make him most adaptive to his environment regardless of how inhumane or rationally baseless it may be (i.e., a belief system that will enhance one's acquisition of money and power, not one which is solidly based on reason). Wealth and power can certainly increase the quality of one's life, but no one rewards the morally and intellectually sound person in a free market economy.

Certain dogmas and ideologies undermining man's natural rights and the intrinsic dignity of human life should be restrained from instituted as policy; and the consequences of its propagandization carefully weighed against the criteria for humane conduct. Such doctrines based on man's emotional hatred and biases, and not reason cannot await the uprising of an antipodal force to moderate its evil and ultimately, do not benefit society. Under the policy of absolute tolerance, such doctrines if unopposed, have the unbridled opportunities to breed and prosper only to hurt humanity. It is analogous to letting an heinous criminal run free on the account that he will meet up with a compellingly humane person who will show him a better way to live. The policy of absolute tolerance's greatest benefit to society may be in the fact, each and every person may be able to state his/her beliefs regardless of how deviant from the norm it may be and that such freedoms lead to self-determinism. The abstract right is an end in itself. Mill's argument is undoubtably superb; however, he fails to address the problem of human avarice in politics and consider all the factors in reality which are not readily accountable in theory.

Obama's Inauguration: Tears for Justice

2009-01-20T17:46:00.007-05:00

I've been crying all day long -- off and on. I was not feeling emotional prior to turning on the TV and watching the Obamas walk into the inauguration. I realized that an African American man was going to become President. This was a pivotal historical moment, and I felt very proud of it. I sobbed through his taking of the oath. I cried watching the interviews of several older African Americans recalling some very ugly moments of their life under Jim Crow laws. There is so much grief in acknowledging the legacy of slavery and systemic racism; and then there is so much pride in the recognition that we as a nation are capable of so much more. For them and for me, today was an impossible dream.

That Obama's taking of the presidential oath to protect and defend the Constitution was real, unlike his predecessor's taking of the same. That the U.S. Constitution states that all men are created equal somehow is NOT hallow rhetoric today and for that, I cry. Like many other African Americans before him, Obama is standing upon the shoulders of giants. That a person of color could ascend to power based on merit, hard work, character and intelligence is true today. It isn't just a lofty ideal or poetic rhetoric politicans recite in public, but that we can believe would be reality. Although I am not African American, I as an Asian American have experienced the barbs of racism and I know that it hurts. That's all you have to understand in order to cry at this historic moment. You don't have to be African American to understand that.

Obama's personal experiences have made him very worldly. He is very broad-minded and knows the ideological danger in thinking that everyone should think and believe in the same values and morals, which is what the Christian right wants. I'm just thrilled to have a president who has lived in different cultures and has a multi-racial family. I am sure that these factors have shaped his worldview. He knows that the whole world isn't Christian, English-speaking and has coffee and a bagel for breakfast. Some people worship cows and speak Hindi; some people have congee and chicken feet for breakfast. So many Americans are xenophobic; if any man can break through some of that xenophobia, it'll be Obama. I hope he will advance the cultural competency movement.

Alternatives 2008 - the Largest National Annual Conference of People Diagnosed with Mental Illnesses

2008-10-22T14:42:00.016-04:00

Much to my surprise, 100% of the completed film evaluations were favorable of the 33-min rough cut that we showed at this conference. One man from Boston University, Derek Fulker got up and told me that it was brilliant. Many said the film was "powerful." Even the best films get a few negative reviews, but this audience of mostly people diagnosed with mental illnesses were enthusiastic and enamored with our little film. That felt good after receiving so many rejection letters from foundations for funding.

In May, I submitted a workshop proposal entitled "What Are the Issues for Asian American Consumers? Asian Americans Speak." to the National Empowerment Center's Alternatives 2008 conference. Alternatives is the largest annual national conference for people with mental illnesses. It got accepted, but I didn't think we would end up going because we didn't have the funding to go. But the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors (NASMHPD) stepped up to pay for the travel expenses for me and 2 consumer speakers: Nami Roberts of Los Angeles, and the film subject, Can Truong. Thank goodness. NASMHPD is a $7million organization funded mostly by the government.

I initiated this workshop because there is a gross lack of social activism among Asian Americans on this issue, and to compound the problem, the mainstream consumer movement perceives APIAs as model minorities so they do not see any need for change. The mainstream consumer movement is a wonderful, group of people who have been diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist, some of whom have been mistreated, locked up, coerced to take medications against their will and suffered numerous adverse side effects from psychotropic meds.

After the workshop, I submitted the following report to NASMHPD per their request.

BRIEF SUMMARY OF WORKSHOP

Walter Shwe, as the lead presenter, moderated the workshop. I spoke as an activist and filmmaker and delved into the reasons why I had begun this film project. I am not a consumer, but I am a family member of a consumer. However, I felt like I was speaking on behalf of the thousands of Asian Americans living with a mental illness who are limited-English proficient (LEP) whose needs sometimes go unaddressed by the English-speaking majority in the mental health establishment. And because a conference like Alternatives is monolingual, it unwittingly, passively excludes many Asian Americans, whose first language is not English.

I was reluctant to speak about my personal experience as a family member of a consumer because my family is not comfortable with my speaking publicly about the mental illness in my family, but I felt it was an important story to tell. In the end, I did feel that telling my grandfather's story was somewhat cathartic to my own personal process and had an important social message to the consumer movement: be aware that LEP people have rights under Title VI of the U.S. Civil Rights Act. The federal government is NOT supposed to discriminate on the basis of national origin.

I had a grandfather with chronic paranoid schizophrenia who lived in a public home for the mentally ill in Richmond, VA. Though he was a limited-English proficient (LEP) naturalized American citizen and was a Medicaid and SSDI recipient which made him eligible for an Korean-English interpreter as guaranteed to him under Title VI of the U.S. Civil Rights Act of 1964, he was not provided one at anytime during his medical treatment for a period of 10 years. He passed away in 2001. He often did not receive the medical attention he needed because of his inability to communicate accurately his bodily sensations to the staff of the home he resided in. His caretakers at the home denied this, perhaps because the search for and the costs of finding an Korean-English interpreter in Richmond, VA was too daunting a task for them to undertake.

My family essentially abandoned him after a series of hardships taking care of him. His bizarre delusions and inexplicable behaviors profoundly embarrassed my grandmother and jeopardized her reputation in Korean social circles. They divorced and my grandmother did little to provide care for his serious and chronic medical condition after their divorce. Because my grandmother and mother did not understand mental illness, they forbade me and my siblings from having any contact with him. Regardless, my sister and I sought to help him and called him every once in a while.

Though my grandfather did speak some English, he was not able to express the nuances of his thoughts and feelings in great detail in English. He had some English only speaking friends in his home. But sadly, he had no friends with him he could speak Korean with for the last 7 or 8 years of his life. Title VI of the U.S. Civil Rights Act states that the Federal government cannot discriminate on the basis of national origin. Providing services exclusively in English to LEP recipients of federal funding is discrimination and many people do not seem to be aware of that fact. It wasn't until I called the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund in New York City, did I find out his rights had been violated. It seems that most lawyers are not aware of the rights of LEP Americans. Most consumers are not. Most mental health directors do not. In that regard, I felt speaking on this issue was important in raising the issues because there are probably thousands of LEP recipients of federal funds who have experienced discrimination.

The purpose of creating this workshop "What Are the Issues for Asian Americans? Asian Americans Speak" was to help create an Asian American presence at Alternatives, the largest annual national conference of people with mental illnesses, where Asian Americans (AA) are grossly underrepresented. Among all the ethnic groups in the U.S., Asian Americans are the least likely to seek treatment for mental illnesses. When AAs do enter the mental health system, they are far more severely decompensated than their non-Asian counterparts according to many studies. This indicates that mental health treatment is often delayed for as long as many years for many AAs with serious and chronic mental illnesses.

The absence of grassroots activism on this issue is a serious detriment for progress in Asian American mental health. Currently, there exists no national movement of Asian American consumers and family members. There are few AAs in the country who are open about their mental illness. The model minority myth, the perception that AAs are socio-economically and academically successful and have few, if any, problems, is pervasive in the consumer movement. This myth is further reinforced by absence and invisibility of Asian Americans at these major consumer events -- supporting a false perception that AAs do not have mental illnesses. The truth is the AAs have about the same rates of mental illnesses as non-Asian groups, but they are far more adept at concealing their mental illnesses due to the harsh stigma that often brands the entire family in traditional Asian cultures and the moral code of family honor that forbids them from publicly disclosing their mental illness. The stereotypes of AAs abound in American popular culture and the consumer movement. There is no counterforce to mitigate the notion that Asian Americans don't have any problems.

The prevalence of these stereotypes and covert, subtle forms of unintentional racism sometimes, but not always, makes it uncomfortable for many AA consumers to attend Alternatives alone without the support of other AAs. Among 749 attendees this year, there were less than 10 AAs (I counted 8, but added 2 as a margin of error. I contacted NEC for exact numbers, but have not yet received a response.) though AAs comprise 4% of the American general population. Our workshop and NASMHPD were responsible for bring 4 of these AAs. Our presence at Alternatives was critical to raising awareness and creating a voice for Asian American consumers.This workshop is the beginning of an effort to create a vocal, cohesive and viable grassroots movement around the issues that confront Asian American consumers, their families, friends and allies. It's not enough to make a film, but also make the ground fertile for a movement to take root and grow. It is my hope that this workshop is one of the seminal gatherings of Asian American consumers to meet and forge bonds so that they can feel empowered to work in their home communities.

Shooting at Northern Illinois University

2008-02-16T13:29:00.002-05:00

This was the fourth campus shooting in a week!!! That is just absurd. You know, people, unfortunately, rush to judgment about people with mental illnesses based on media coverage of these incidents. Whenever you hear about a person with mental illness in the media, it's usually a result of some act of destruction and mayhem. Sadly, this deluge of TV, radio, and news coverage imprints into people's brains the association between mental illness and violence. So the stigma of mental illness persists even among highly educated segments of the population.

In Europe and many other parts of the world, where there are schizophrenics, they don't have 4 campus shootings a week. These tragedies are symptomatic of serious underlying societal problems that are specific to the US, such as the power of big pharma, the poor quality of "treatment" for people with mental illness, the horrible side effects of psychotropics, the FDA's lack of supervision of Big Pharma, the lack of universal healthcare, gun control, the lack of trust in social relations such to the competitive nature of our culture, and the outfall of capitalism. You will see that in many European nations where there is socialized healthcare, you don't hear about these kinds of shootings in all of Europe. If there are any, it's very rare. The discrimination against people with mental illness also leads consumers into isolation.

Jumping Hurdles and Recanting

2008-01-30T19:03:00.001-05:00

I know it's been forever since I wrote anything in this blog, but now I'm committed and keeping up this blog because I think my journey through this project has been many jumps over Olympian hurdles. It's been life-changing in both positive and negative ways. Positive in that I have never had so many people, some of whom I have known for many years, come up to me and tell me about their struggles with mental illness. It has opened up a whole new life to me. Negative — in the stresses that this project has brought on in my life.

Much has been uncovered since the Virginia Tech massacres — including the revelation that Asian Americans are the least likely to seek treatment for mental health issues. Many articles have cropped up citing the statistics, which of course every one in AA mental health had already knew for decades. Only when there's murder and mayhem to substantiate it, do such statistics get much attention. Another revelation was that Seung-hui Choi was, in fact, treated by an art therapist as a youngster. His parents, despite the cultural injunctions again it, were conscientious enough to send him to proper treatment, which is commendable on their part. I am sure that they must have suffered through the maze questions and decisions when their son was identified with his diagnosis of selective mutism and possibly other unidentified mental health issues. I do not know if his parents were provided with culturally sensitive mental health providers who spoke their language and was sensitive to cultural differences is another issue. Some mainstream mental health providers without any cross cultural training can actually do more harm than good. The fact that Seung-hui was treated does not mean that he was helped unfortunately, because good therapists are a rarity. And good culturally competent therapists are even rarer.

I am sure that I will get criticized for saying this — many Korean parents do not recognize mental health issues in their children or in themselves — despite this statement being true. Denial is not knowing because to acknowledge it would be deadly painful. You know what I'm here to break through the defenses of denial and fight for the truth to emerge. I'm not going to be popular for speaking the truths soon. Many Korean-American groups have rallied to say that the massacre caused by Choi is NOT a Korean issue. I can in general agree with that, especially since the event was an intersection of several socio-political issues such as gun control, lack of healthcare resources in colleges, the stigma of mental illness and rise of violence in the U.S. It is an Asian issue insofar as there is some overlap with Asian American socio-cultural phenomena such as the lack of awareness about mental health issues in Asian American combined with the harsh stigma of mental illness. The issue of denial and shame within the Asian American community IS our issue and must be dealt with. To the extent, Seung-hui may not have been given the quality care and attention that he very much needed and deserved because of linguistic and cultural barriers that have been documented by the 2001 Surgeon General's Report and the President's New Freedom Commission. The fact that

I think, I too, am guilty of jumping the gun and instantly assuming that Seung-hui was another victim of this blanket denial of mental illness in Asian American communities. I apologize for my blunder, but unfortunately, I have witnessed firsthand many Korean families hiding the relative with mental illness. My Chinese friend in LA told me an elder in her Chinese church was hiding her son with mental illness in the basement (this is not a metaphor; I mean literally in the basement.). Frightening stories of Asian Americans with mental illness abound in our communities. And I mistakenly was convinced that Seung-hui Choi's family was another that denied their family member the treatment and attention they desperately needed and deserved. Mea culpa.

Responses to my letter about the Virginia Tech Murders

2007-04-22T02:31:00.000-04:00

Today I received several emails from across the country, thanking me for writing the above letter about Asian American mental health. 2 of them were from Asian American women with mental illnesses. One of them Korean Am. She told me she was very touched by my article and knew exactly what I was talking about. It's such a Korean thing that I often wonder if non-Asians can comprehend what I'm talking about because I doubt the power of words to convey the emotional reality of culture. Well anyways, she went through a period of depression and suicidal thinking and her parents and friends gave up on her. She said that the thinking is the "Asian mentality" and it's difficult to do anything about it.

I had sent the email to a yahoo activists group; and apparently, it was sent all over the U.S. because I got emails from chiefs of mental health organizations in Hawaii. Someone from the Indiana government asked me if she could send my email to policymakers in her state. I marvel at the speed of communication with the internet. If only we could harness it more for social movements of the people.

The Virginia Tech Murders and Its Implications

2007-04-22T01:05:00.004-04:00

I originally wrote the letter below to a group of Asian American activists urging change. Now I share it with you my friends.
_______________________________________________________

As I grieve and reflect about the tragic events at Virginia Tech, I wanted to share some thoughts.

It is my hope that our community leaders go further than seeking superficial answers to this tragedy. Clearly, it not only raises the issue of gun control, but also illustrates what happens when necessary mental health interventions fail to happen. Based on what I have read in the press, it is very likely that Seung-hui Cho suffered from mental illness without receiving the proper care and attention he very desperately needed. There were many socio-cultural factors in motion that aided and abetted these failures, beginning with the collective denial and shame surrounding the issue of mental illness in Asian American communities.

Unfortunately, as a Korean-American, I know all too well what some Korean Americans with mental illness have to go through. My step grandfather suffered from paranoid schizophrenia for decades before his death in 2001. My sister and I were the only family members who sought to help him as he became helpless and deteriorated both physically and mentally. My grandmother left him to fend for himself after a bitter divorce though he neither had the mental or financial means to support himself. Most of his other family members wanted nothing to do with him. His own brother who coincidentally lived in the same town, Centreville, VA, as Seung-hui Cho, ruthlessly abandoned him. I notified him by phone and then by a letter sent to his home of his brother's condition. He never replied. I can only speculate what Seung-hui with his emotional difficulties might have gone through in that Korean community.

The stigma of mental illness in traditional Korean society brands all the members of the family in the eyes of the community. "Chae-myun," which loosely translates into family honor or pride, is to be maintained at all costs. In certain situations, it is more honorable to commit suicide than to expose something shameful about their family. It is an unspoken code of honor, steeped in Confucian morality. Though some Korean families have become more Americanized living in the states, some families, I have heard, hide their kin with mental illness and even denying their existence. Several studies report that Asian Americans exhibit more severe disturbances compared to non-Asians, suggesting that they are more likely to endure psychiatric distress for a long time, only coming to the attention of the mental health system at the point of acute breakdown and crisis.

And unfortunately, because of the violent nature of Seung-hui's acts, this tragedy reinforces the stigma and negative stereotypes of people with mental illnesses. The fact remains that the vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent and this case is, indeed, an isolated one. 48%, nearly half the American population, will experience a mental health issue during their lifetime. 1 out of every 4 Americans experiences a mental health issue during any given year. Most experience anxiety and depressive disorders, and are for the most part pretty harmless. The most aberrant and violent cases receive the most media coverage and, regrettably, are the cases that leave the deepest impression.

In our communities, leaders do not want to talk about this issue because it makes people feel uncomfortable. In order to instigate the dialogue about this taboo subject, I have been working on a film about mental illness in the Asian American communities for 2 years. When I bring up the subject, some people visibly become ill at ease, and change the subject. No matter how evident the signs of mental health issues are, it seems that certain people rather sweep the elephant under the rug and pretend that it doesn't exist. I hope that community leaders will address this issue now that the herd of elephants has stampeded out from under the rug and the model minority cover has been blown. I hope that there is something the Asian American community can take away from this horrific event that will forever be etched into the American consciousness. The time to break the silence is long overdue. We lost the beautiful and beloved Iris Chang to suicide because of this silence. And unfortunately, she is one of many Asian American women who take their lives every year.

There have been many mental health tragedies in the Asian American community; none with the exception of Iris Chang's suicide that have received the barrage of mass publicity that this massacre has. Why? Because most of these people weren't harmful to others, only to themselves. Elizabeth Shin, Anna Guo, my step grandfather, Hyon Joon Shin, and many, many college suicides, most recently at Stanford, to name a few. Elizabeth Shin who had a history of psychiatric problems died by fire under ambiguous circumstances in a MIT dormitory. 14-year-old Anna Guo was shot 3 times by the Ventura County police while she was attempting to commit suicide. (As strange and contradictory as that sounds, it is true) My step grandfather who was limited-English proficient died because his caretakers failed to understand he needed emergency help in part due to the language barrier. Sometimes I wish Asian American mental health had an advocate like Al Sharpton who would incite the crowds for the cause, fearlessly wreak havoc every time an mental health tragedy occurred and point fingers at all the potentially guilty parties, whether it's the government, the culture, the neighborhood or the family, leaving no stone unturned. We need someone to be vocal, even if obnoxiously and impetuously, as long as he or she didn't remain silent. You heard it first in the AIDS campaigns, but it also applies here: silence equals death. Whether you are an activist or an apathetic, a parent or child, an Asian or Caucasian, young or old, healthy or ill, as long as you are just another breathing, living human being, don't be complicit in the conspiracy of silence. Please talk about the huge elephants under the rug and don't look the other way. And conspire to create hope.

There are many things that could be done at a policy level. Two of the largest mental health advocacy organizations are headquartered in Arlington, VA, not too far from where Seung-Hui Cho grew up. They incidentally do not offer many programs geared toward people of color. Though we live in a multi-cultural society, most establishment mental health organizations are Euro-American-centric even when the social need exists among other ethnic groups. Even though Asian American women 15-24 have the second highest suicide rate in the nation (Native American women have the highest) and Asian American women over 65 have 10 times the risk of suicide as their white counterparts, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is ninety-something percent white in their staff and the support programs that they offer. The model minority myth has worked against Asian Americans in nearly every arena of mental health. The facts tell a different story from the overall perception that we have few, if any, problems.

Based on Seung-hui Cho’s creative writing samples exposed in the press, I think he may have been a victim of some heinous abuse. This is purely speculative, but a valid hypothesis based on the scant facts presented in his case. In both his plays, the protagonists are sexually abused by a figure of authority and want to kill their abuser in a macabre manner. This kind of intense rage is consistent with that which I have seen among sexual abuse survivors. Mr. Cho, if in fact was abused, probably never dealt with what had happened to him. When victims go without expressing their grief and pain over the abuse they suffered, they will most inevitably suffer in greater intensity for longer and, sometimes, may even become violent perpetrators themselves.

Had Seung-hui sought counseling or psychiatric help, he probably would not have received help from a therapist with whom he could have forged genuine trust. Most therapists in this country are trained in Western psychology, which is based on individualism and existentialist theories, with little meaningful exposure to Asian American cultures. With that kind of academic background and clinical training with primarily Euro-American patients, most therapists are ill-equipped to understand Confucian culture and the emotional experience of walking the fine line between 2 very different cultures which is what most Korean Americans have to do. The forces of assimiliation and acculturation create stress, and sometimes chaos from within Asian Americans as well as other immigrants who hail from cultures, which emphasize group responsibility over individual. Often times, when there is a cross-cultural relationship in therapy, the patient who is from the minority culture actually has to adapt to the therapist's culture if it is the more dominant one of the society they live in. Most mental health graduate programs offer little, if any kind of training, in culturally competency. To further exacerbate the issue, there is a grave shortage of bi-cultural, bilingual mental health professionals that some Asian American mental health organizations have resorted to training bilingual paraprofessionals. Even though we model minority Asian Americans are entering med schools in droves and comprise 25% of the medical doctors in this country, proportionally fewer Asian Americans are entering psychiatry than other medical specialties because the stigma of mental illness. And the fact that a clinican is Asian American does not make him or her culturally competent to work with Asian Americans. Because of their Western-biased academic and clinical training, they are often taught to treat Euro-American patients. Furthermore, some Asian Americans have internalized the racism they have experienced in larger society and, consequently, will oppress other Asian Americans who don't conform to Euro-American cultural norms. For example, if they grew up among peers who taunted them for not speaking English or eating "weird" foods like kimchee without properly working through those traumas, they may insist that other immigrant Asian Americans speak English and eat Euro-American foods. The lack of culturally competent care has consequences not only for Asian Americans, but for all of society.

As far as Cho is concerned, there remains many unanswered questions. And any analysis on my part and the pundits of this very complex case is pure speculation. That fact doesn’t seem to deter the experts who never met Cho from diagnosing him posthumously. They say he was a sociopath; another expert says he was probably a paranoid schizophrenic, like my step grandfather. If in fact he suffered from paranoid delusions like my step grandfather, he surely must have been a tormented soul because this disease grips the mind like vise and doesn’t let go. But unlike Cho, my step grandfather, Hyon Joon Shin left this world namelessly without harming a soul. Most of his days living in the Bellamy Home for Adults in Richmond, VA were spent being scared, sitting, sometimes pacing, quietly being suspicious of people around him. He was more like a 5-year-old who needed to be comforted constantly, than the 63-year-old man that he was. Dosages of Haldol diminished, but did not eradicate, his delusional beliefs that the CIA was chasing him and that the tap water was poisonous. He restlessly lived in this delusional world nearly all of his waking hours until one warm Spring morning, when he was found dead in his sleep. The night before I had urged the administrator of the home to take my grandfather to the hospital because he had told me that he couldn't breathe. Mr. Bellamy responded to me in disbelief and told me that my grandfather appeared fine. Though I was saddened by his death and troubled life, I hoped that he finally found the peace he so deserved.